


Sweet Uncertainty

by ihaveblueeyebrows



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Face-Fucking, First Time, Fluff and Smut, Frottage, Gay Rick Grimes, Hand Jobs, Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Marijuana, Mutual Pining, Negan Being Negan (Walking Dead), Office, Pansexual Negan (Walking Dead), Recreational Drug Use, Rimming, Slow Burn, Topping from the Bottom
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-04
Updated: 2020-02-07
Packaged: 2021-01-22 23:48:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 32,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21310621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ihaveblueeyebrows/pseuds/ihaveblueeyebrows
Summary: Negan had never been in love, not even close to itRick hadn't either.Follow these two as they go through the trials, and errors that come along with being in a relationship for the first time.Boundaries crossed, mistakes are made, and a little bit of pay back ensues.AU fic**chapter 13 has been updated from the original posting date**
Relationships: Rick Grimes/Negan
Comments: 70
Kudos: 113





	1. Chapter 1

"What bird gives the best head?" 

"I don't fucking know man." Dwight replied, annoyed.  
"A swallow." Negan slapped Dwight on the back, laughing hysterically. Dwight grumbled and didn't look away from his computer screen. "Gotta get that stick removed from deep in your..."

"Ahem" a cough came from behind him. Negan was still laughing as he turned around, "What in the mother fuck do you…" not able to finish his sentence because he was now staring into two of the bluest eyes he had ever seen. "Want."

"Uhh.. I'm- I'm looking for Carol Peletiers office, I'm- uh, this is my first day."  
Negan couldn't help but take in all of the slightly shorter man's features. Curly brown hair slightly overgrown, gorgeous Crystal blue eyes, maybe the most beautiful he's ever seen. And that mouth. Well holy shit, about a thousand things he could do to that mouth flashed through his mind that he barely caught what the man was saying to him. 

"Well shit, welcome aboard. I'm Negan." He says with a toothy grin, hand outstretched waiting for a handshake. The slighter man reciprocates and damn he can feel his hands shaking. Negan smiles that predatory grin. "I'm Rick, Rick Grimes." Rick looks down at the floor for a moment and then back up to meet Negans eyes. "Rick Grimes. Well Rick don't you have the bluest fucking eyes I've ever seen in my god damn life." He watches as Rick flushes, his eyes following it down until it meets the collar of his shirt, Negan clicks his tongue and wets his lips. He briefly wonders how far it goes down. "Follow me, and I'll show you exactly what you're looking for." Negan winks at Rick, chuckling to hinself, thinking the man looks like he could explode any second.

He walks ahead to lead Rick through a hallway to another set of offices. Negan gestures to a door, "This one right here, the ol' regional manager" he says knocking on the door for Rick. "See you around Ricky." Negan winks again, turning to walk back down the hallway to his office, leaving Rick before he could even thank him. 

Negan leans back in his chair, unable to get the blue eyed Rick out of his head, he's been sitting here for forty five minutes and hasn't even taken a look at the reports stacked on his desk. He picks up his cup of coffee when a knock on his office door startles him, the coffee now dripping down his crisp white button down. "This better be fucking good!" He yells at the door. 

Carol walks in and Negan stiffens. "Sorry ma'am, I didn't think it would be you." He says while he's using tissue to blot at his shirt. "Doesn't matter who it is Negan, you're supposed to treat everyone here with respect. Appropriate office language too." Carol raised an eyebrow and Negan rolled his eyes. Yeah, yeah he knows. He gestures for Carol to sit down. "You should be used to my language by now darlin'." Negan looked up from wiping coffee from his shirt, Carol did not looked amused. 

"Alright what's going on? Why'd you fu, i mean why have you graced me with your lovely presence this morning?" Negan forces a grin, still pissed off about his shirt. "I have a favor to ask you. Actually, I'm only asking to be nice. You're doing it either way." Carol says now smirking. "Fuck sakes Carol." Negan doesn't hold back now that he knows she wants something from him. "Tell me then. Just fucking get it over with." Negan leans back, kicking his feet up on his desk.

"There's a new guy starting this morning." Carol begins. "Rick Grimes." Negan interrupts. "Oh good you've met then." Negan gives Carol a look. "Well I need you to stick with him for the week. Show him how everything works around here. I'm not giving him any assignments this week so he can be your partner. I need you to show him everything Negan, and I don't mean what's under your clothes. He's a nice kid, doesn't have a lot of experience. Make sure he feels good about being here and don't be too hard on him." There were too many jokes Negan could have inserted, but instead he just nodded his head. "Won't be like that ma'am. I'm a pro-fucking-fessional." He said with his wolfish grin. It was Carols turn to roll her eyes. "I'm serious Negan, be nice." She said getting up from the chair. "His office is A95." She paused before leaving. "Don't fuck this up Negan." His eyebrows may as well have launched clean off his face. But she was gone before he could give her shit for swearing. 

Looking down at his shirt, he felt a wave of embarrassment wash over him. Why would he be embarrassed? He thought. He didn't give two shits about this new guy, Rick. He grabbed his black pullover on his way out to Ricks office. 

Staring at the gold plaque that shows A95, he wanted to slap himself for feeling a little nervous. This feeling was foreign to him, he didn't give s shit about what people thought about him. Must be coffee jitters. He knocked twice and let himself in, walking in on a desheveled and surprised looking Rick. 

"Come on," Negan gestured to the door. "I'm gonna show you around." But Rick didn't get up. Negan looked him up and down wondering what this guy's problem was. Rick looked away, "I spilled coffee…on my lap when you knocked." He stood then showing the wet spot on his black pants. Negan couldn't help but laugh, not because he was making fun of him but because at least he wasn't the only one on edge. "There's a fucking hand dryer in the bathroom, I'll show you. Stand behind me, people won't notice. Everyone is a fucking zombie here especially on Mondays. They can't get their head out of their own ass long enough to pay attention." 

Negan stood against the wall outside of the bathroom waiting for Rick to clean himself up. Negan hears a set of high heels on the floor and bets himself it's Sherry. Just then she comes around the corner, Negan looks her up and down. He knows he can't have this one, she's shacking up with his best friend Dwight. He doesn't understand how an ugly chud like Dwight got such a fucking hot piece but whatever. He will be respectful, sort of. Harmless flirting was alright he thought. 

"Mmmm hey Sherry. I must say you're looking mighty fine today." She rolls her eyes and stops. "Aren't you a little warm in that sweater Negan? It's a hundred degrees in here." Negan smirks, "I'm more than willing to let you take it off." Negan steps closer to Sherry, and Sherry looks around him. "Hey, I haven't seen you around before, I'm Sherry." She says with a small wave. "Um, I'm Rick. It's my first day." He said nervously, looking back and forth between her and Negan. Is he blushing right now? Negan thought. "Well it's nice to meet you Rick, I have to get going, but I'm sure I'll see you around." Rick nodded as she walked away. 

Negan felt a wave of relief once Sherry was out of sight. How long had Rick been standing there? He shook his head. "Looks like you fixed your little problem. Now, let's get on with the grand tour."

"This is the copy room, I assume you know how to use one of these." Rick nodded, "I was an intern for a year and was well acquainted with one just like this." He drawled. Negans interest piqued, "Where you from Rick?" Rick shifted his feet, not meeting Negans eyes. "Georgia." Negan moved closer, standing too close by anyone else's standards. "What brings you to Virginia Ricky?" Rick audibly swallows, still not looking Negan in the face. "Well, um, people there, they uhh, they aren't as, you know, um accepting? Of uh, certain things, people." Negan never stopped looking at Ricks eyes, he smirked, then stepping out of Ricks space he turned around to show him to the lunch room. "Your secrets safe with me cowboy. Let's go." 

Negan had a hunch the minute he laid eyes on the man but he wasn't that particular brand of asshole. Hell Negan didn't give a shit, he was into dicks, chicks, chicks with dicks, dudes with pussies and everything in between. He didn't know why, but knowing this piece of information about Rick perked him up a little bit. He chalked it up to his normal urges of wanting to fuck a beautiful human being. He promised Carol he would be nice, and he didn't really like to shit where he eats. He's caused enough people to quit by having a one night tryst, there was a reason Carol told him to be nice. She liked Rick and didn't want him leaving because Negan liked to stick his dick where it didn't belong. 

"So you're stuck with me for the fucking week Ricky." Negan said after the tour. "It's just Rick. And yeah, Carol said I had to shadow you for the week until I get my bearings." Rick grimaced. Negan noticed the change, "I'll do my best to show you the ropes, but if you get in my way or if I have to repeat myself then you can fuck off. So try to keep up Prick." There, if he has such a problem spending the week with me, then I'll give him an actual reason to have a problem. But it made Negan feel uneasy to speak to Rick like that. Not enough to apologize though. Rick looked at the floor, still unable to look Negan in the eyes. "Yeah I get it." He said. 

"Go get your wheely chair from your office, I don't want to hear you complain of a sore ass from the plastic ones in my office and you sure as shit aren't using mine." Rick glared at him, and he swears he heard a snarl. This is going to be fun.


	2. Chapter 2

Rick was late, so very very late. When he looked at his phone he realized that his alarm hadn't gone off and was set for PM instead of AM. He scurried around his apartment trying to get himself together and rush to his new job. Of course he would be late on his first day at the office. He was fresh out of school as a business management major and a minor in accounting, and as soon as he had graduated, he moved up to Virginia, not intending to ever look back. 

All the memories he had in Georgia were bad ones. His best friends had been Lori and Shane. Lori always had a thing for Rick, but he always told her he loved their friendship too much to move to the next level, but the real reason was because he had feelings for Shane. Rick had always tried really hard to be interested in women, his parents, friends, and community weren't so accepting of the LBGTQ+ community, but Rick knew himself and realized he couldn't live like that. He planned to keep his identity under wraps until he could leave once he finished school, until one night him and Shane had a few drinks. 

"You know somethin' Rick? Damn if you were a woman, I might just wanna settle down, treat you right." Shane slurred, tipping the beer bottle back and finishing the rest. Rick giggled, he couldn't help but flush at the compliment. He had a few too many drinks and looking back at the situation, he realized Shane knew exactly what he was doing. "You know Lori likes you a whole lot Rick. I know we're all best friends and everything, but I wouldn't mind if you two got together. You two are perfect for each other." Rick couldn't help but make a face, "Nah, she's not my type." He waved his hand at the other man. "What is your type Rick? You didn't have a girlfriend in high school, damn you're almost 24 years old and you're still a virgin. I'm beginning to think you don't have a type Rick." Rick stopped, suddenly their conversation was sobering. He got the sudden urge to vomit. Did Shane know? Where was this going? All he could do was stare at the label he was peeling from the empty beer bottle in front of him. 

"Is that it, Rick?" 

"Shane," he said, still not looking up to his childhood best friend. Unable to meet his eyes in fear of what he would find there. "Men are my type." 

From that night on, nothing was the same. Shane told Lori, and they just didn't look at him the way they used to. Rather quickly, the entire community found out, forcing him to come out to his parents that had already heard it from everyone else. His parents didn't throw him out but he won't be visiting during the holidays, put it that way. They made his life a living hell.

Less than a year later he finds himself in his one bedroom, nearly bare apartment. Hoping around trying to get his socks on and out the door to start his first day working in his field. He was starting out processing invoices in an office but there was always room for promotions. He was happy, aside from being late, he was starting fresh. He had a small apartment and a decent job, as far as he was concerned he didn't need anything else.

Rick arrived at the building, looking at an email in his phone he read aloud, "Carol Peletiers office. Not very telling." He will have to ask someone he thought. Moving through the entrance, he saw a couple people and one was laughing. He's laughing on a Monday morning, he must be friendly enough, seemed like a good choice to ask for some direction. 

Rick cleared his throat hoping to get the tall man's attention. He felt instant regret when the man suddenly sounded aggravated, until he swung around to looking in him in the eyes. Rick watched his face carefully, the dark haired man seemed angry a fraction of a second ago and now he can't decipher the look on his face, the hazel eyes sparkling and cheeks flushing. Rick thinks he might be the most beautiful man he's ever seen in his life.

Rick had to break this. He had to say something, anything. Why was he here again? Oh yeah! "Uhh.. I'm- I'm looking for Carol Peletiers office, I'm- uh, this is my first day." He managed to get out. The men shake hands and introduce themselves, "Rick Grimes. Well Rick don't you have the bluest fucking eyes I've ever seen in my god damn life." Now he can't help but flush, he can feel it spreading down his body, feeling instantly embarrassed, no man had ever spoken to him like that. He felt instant heat in his lower belly. It doesn't help that the next thing out of Negans mouth is "Follow me, and I'll show you exactly what you're looking for." Followed by a clear wink. A million things went through Ricks mind, could he tell that he was gay? Was he that obvious? Was he outright flirting with him or was this just the way men are around here? This was getting too complicated and Ricks head was spinning. He was just trying his best to follow behind Negan without stumbling. 

Negan showed Rick the office labelled District Manager, knocked on it and said "See you around Ricky." After the tornado if emotions Negan had just put him through in a matter of minutes, his head was left spinning, unable to form a sentence. He was jerked out of the storm by a cheerful Carol greeting him at the door. "Good morning! You must be Rick!" She said, beaming. "Come on in." 

Rick filled out the usual paperwork and she wrote down which number his office was. "One more thing Rick, for the first week you'll be shadowing someone with experience, you don't have any quotas to meet until next week when you really start things. I only have one other person on accounts payable so you'll be with him. He can be a little rough around the edges so if you have any problems, just come and talk to me." Ricks stomach dropped to the floor, he had a feeling about who she was referring to. Carol took out a few files and handed them to Rick. "Just fill out these forms for payroll in your office and I'll send him in to take you on a tour of the place and help you get settled in." Rick nodded, just hoping and praying that the person he's shadowing isn't who he thinks it is. He didn't want to be close to the man who evoked such a strong emotional response out of him in a matter of seconds. He was the pining from afar type. 

"A95" Rick whispered to himself, he had just found his office. Honestly he was excited about this part, he had always dreamed of having his own space with a view, not much of one but still a view, of the street. He looked around the room, a desk with a laptop, a comfortable looking chair, two small chairs opposite to the desk and a filing cabinet near the door. 

Walking toward the desk he put down his takeout cup of coffee from Carols office. He didn't have time to grab one this morning so he was thankful for her offer. He sat down making himself comfortable in the chair before opening his messenger bag and filling the drawer in his desk with pens, stapler, hole punch, and other various office supplies he had bought the night before. 

As Rick began filling out the payroll forms, his mind drifted to Negan. It had been fifteen minutes and he hadn't even finished one simple form. The way he had looked at Rick, his eyes, his mouth, his sharp jaw and cheek bones. Could Negan have been interested? He certainly was openly flirting, unless that was Rick projecting. 

Rick went to take a sip of his coffee when there was knocking on his door. He as so lost in thought that his hand jerked and his entire cup on coffee landed in his lap. When he looked up Negan was standing there looking at him, and Rick was right back in the middle of the tornado. He was asking him to get up so they could go on the tour of the office but he was covered in coffee, and honestly it looked like he pissed himself. What else could go wrong today? He stood up to show Negan his little problem, trying to hide the fact he had been so deep in thought about the man, he dumped coffee on himself. 

"There's a fucking hand dryer in the bathroom, I'll show you. Stand behind me, people won't notice. Everyone is a fucking zombie here especially on Mondays. They can't get their head out of their own ass long enough to pay attention." Rick agreed and followed Negan to the nearest bathroom. He soaked up the coffee with paper towel and then took another 5 minutes to dry his crotch off enough that you couldn't see the wet stain. Thank god for black pants. He untucked his blue button up for a little added cover. 

Rick walked out of the bathroom to see Negan standing next to a woman dressed a little provocatively for business casual but who was he to judge anyone. 

"Aren't you a little warm in that sweater Negan? It's a hundred degrees in here." He heard the woman say, "I'm more than willing to let you take it off." Negan replied, moving closer to the woman. Ricks chest suddenly felt heavy, when Negan moved the woman caught sight of Rick. She introduced herself as Sherry and Rick explained he was new but he wasn't really there, how could he be this disappointed? He literally met Negan this morning. He felt a creeping suspicion that he had gotten googly eyes for the office whore, probably not a person he wants to get close to. Probably someone that would laugh and make fun of his lack of sexual and relational experience. It's just Ricks luck that he has to spend the whole week with this person. 

Negan showed Rick the copy room, he realized quickly that the layout of the office building wasn't very large and that this tour wouldn't take long. Rick explained he was an intern and knew his way around a copier. 

Negan asked him where he was from and he hesitated for a moment. "Georgia." He said finally. He knew what was coming next, why he had moved to Virginia? "Well, um, people there, they uhh, they aren't as, you know, um accepting? Of uh, certain things, people." Rick regretted his answer, he didn't want to give anything away to someone he didn't trust, but there it was. Negan was staring at him too hard with those deep hazel eyes and Rick shifted uncomfortably, he was standing much too close, he could feel the taller man's breath on his face. It smelled like coffee with a hint of nicotine, he didn't find it offensive. 

Negan turned, almost reading Ricks mind and answering with, "Your secrets safe with me cowboy. Let's go." Rick was surprised but relieved, maybe this guy had a few redeeming qualities, and he couldn't help but feel that heat low in his belly when he called him cowboy. Rick rolled his eyes at himself. He had to remind himself of the images of him all over that woman Sherry. The thought made him want to vomit, he kept replaying it over and over now, putting up walls. He wasn't going to be easy, he was vulnerable right now and Negan was charming that's all this was. Rick decided he wasn't going to let Negan in any further. 

"So you're stuck with me for the fucking week Ricky." Negan said as they arrived at his office. "It's just Rick. And yeah, Carol said I had to shadow you for the week until I get my bearings." Rick replied, and after replaying the moment with Sherry in his head over and over, the thought of spending the week with this guy was repulsive. It hurt him but he didn't know why, he didn't understand how quickly Negan got under his skin. 

"I'll do my best to show you the ropes, but if you get in my way or if I have to repeat myself then you can fuck off. So try to keep up Prick." Rick struck back by the frigidity from the taller man. "Yeah I get it." Rick choked out. 

"Go get your wheely chair from your office, I don't want to hear you complain of a sore ass from the plastic ones in my office and you sure as shit aren't using mine." Rick went to say something but held back, it came out as a frustrated growl, he wasn't surprised that Negans true colours were coming out now after he finds out he's gay. Rick held back tears as he walked back to his office to get his chair.


	3. Chapter 3

Negan had finished giving the run down of what their job titled entailed, in which Rick was familiar because all the programs were the same as the ones they had used in college. Rick spent a lot of time watching Negan talk. He can't say he was always listening, a lot of what Negan says was just to hear himself talk, and he hadn't actually learned anything about the man yet. Mostly just his opinions on baseball, the monotonous work they had to do, and other complaints about programs, or how slow the work computers were.

"Can you give me any insight on the other people who work here?" Rick asked Negan. "Sure can, hmmm where to start… well theres Rosita, and damn she's a fire cracker, and hot as hell too. But she's with Abe, the big red headed fucker. He's a straight shooter and lives up to the stereotype of a red head, don't want to piss him off." Rick sighed, "Why do I get the feeling you're speaking from experience?" Negan laughed, "What can I say? Don't try and make a pass at Rosita. But that little piece of advice is not applicable on account of you being well, you know." Rick can feel his blood pressure rising, the fact he's also hit on Rosita is a pretty clear sign he was right in his assumptions about the man. 

Rick wanted to dig a little more and maybe find out if he was seeing Sherry. Rick couldn't help it, he was curious, it wasn't because the guy was gorgeous and it's not because he felt something when they met. Definitely not that. He didn't forget about how much of a dick Negan was to him. 

Rick fiddled with his hands, arms outstretched across Negans desk. Negan on the opposite side was leaning back in his chair with his arms folded. "So uh," Rick began, "are there a lot of couples in the office then?" Negans grin widened, he unfolded his arms and outstretched his arms across the desk like Ricks. "Lets see, we have Maggie and Glenn, they don't technically work together though. Maggie works down here in the office and Glenn brings the food cart at lunch hour everyday." Negan clicks the home button on his phone, "Speak of the devil it's lunch time, he doesn't me very fuckin' much so be prepared to be disliked by association." 

"Let me guess," Rick huffs a laugh, "because you hit on Maggie?" Negans grin never faltered, "Actually Rick, it's because I accidentally smoked him in the head with a baseball bat on Halloween last year. He was so pissed, I swear his eyes popped out of his goddamn skull." 

Negan had pretended to make a motion like he was swinging a bat, but almost jumped at the sudden bout of laughter coming from Rick. The blue eyed man was doubled over, eyes squeezed shut, laughing uncontrollably. Negan didn't think Rick had a funny bone in his body, hell he hadnt even cracked a smile all morning. Negan started to feel hot behind his ears watching every line in Ricks face as he laughed, memorizing the beautiful sound. Negan suddenly realized he preferred to see Rick this way instead of pissed off. And pissing people off was his specialty. He suddenly felt like everything he ate the passed week was going to come right back up. Lust was something Negan was familiar with, kept him warm every other night. This feeling wasn't that. 

Rick wiped his eyes, still giggling picturing the asshole in front of him making an even bigger asshole of himself in a costume. When he looked up Negan was starting at him with an unreadable look, but it was enough to make Rick blush. "We should uh, head to the lunch room Negan."  
Negan couldn't help notice that was the first time Rick said his name, and he wanted to hear it again and again.

Rick followed Negan to the lunch room where he would presumably meet most of the other employees. He had heard about Jesus, who looked like well, Jesus. Aaron, curly hair and soft spoken. Rosita and Abe the couple, and Maggie who was with Glenn. But Negan hasn't mentioned Sherry, or the man Negan was speaking to when he met him, if Negan was with Sherry that probably would have been the first couple he mentioned. He looked up at Negan walking in front of him and he couldn't help but ogle over the mans lean long body, that broad muscular back. He found himself wondering what he looked like with his clothes off. As if Negan read his mind, just then he looked over his should, giving Rick a wink. 

When they walked into the lunch room Rick was flustered and flushed, and couldn't look Negan in the eyes. He quickly realized that everyone was staring at him. Negan still grinning, piped up "Hey asshole, this is Rick, and Rick I've already told you about all these assholes." Rick watched as most of the people in the room rolled their eyes, he smirked. He was happy that everyone saw Negan the same way he has since they've met. Rough around the edges as Carol put it, seemed incredibly accurate in this moment. 

Negan looked at Rick and tilted his head toward Glenn, motioning for him to go get something for lunch and maybe meet some new people. Rick noticed the red head Abe and his partner Rosita, and Jesus and Aaron sitting together. Rick left his side and Negan went to sit with Sherry and Dwight. After sitting down he looked over at Rick to make sure he was comfortable, and they locked eyes. Rick gave him a small smile but what was the sad look that was there before? Just because he was assigned to train him doesn't mean they have to be attached at the hip. 

"So you're stuck with the new guy?" Dwight starts. "Shitty luck man." Negan smirks, talking low. "Not so bad, I don't have to do shit for work this week. Easy on the eyes too." He says winking at Sherry. "Shit Negan he seems like a nice kid, don't go fucking him up too." Sherry says taking another spoonful of yogurt. Negan rolls his eyes, "Sherry that was twice, and they knew what it was, I never promised them breakfast in the morning." Negan looks over at Rick, he's laughing at something Maggie said. "But blue eyes over here?" Negan says, wetting his bottom lip. "Id make him breakfast. Hell I'd make him lunch and dinner too." 

Rick had struck up a conversation with Maggie and Glenn, he really liked them right away. They asked him why he moved up to Virginia and he said job prospects were better. He didn't feel like coming out a second time that day. "So how has your day been with captain asshole?" Maggie asks, taking a bite into an Apple. "Hmm. Good question." Rick leaned back, putting his sandwich down. "Seems like one second I want to punch him in the face and the next he's making me laugh." Rick saw Negan sitting next to Sherry and he felt disappointment rising in his chest. He still didn't understand how this man he just met can make him feel so much so soon. Maybe it's because he had never been with anyone romantically and now that he's out on his own it's all coming to a head. "Pretty sure he just likes to hear himself talk." Rick laughed, that's exactly Negan.

Sherry drops her spoon and it clatters against the table and Rick snaps his head up from the conversation about Negan. Sherrys eyebrows are half way up her forehead and he can only see the back of the blonde haired man's head but he stopped mid bite to stare at Negan. Ricks mind starts to race, what if Negan told them the reason he moved here? Negative thoughts flooded Ricks head. 

"Smoke time Negan, let's go." Sherry grabs her purse and Negan stands to follow. Dwight waves them off, nose now burried in his phone. Rick watches as the two leave together, swallowing hard he just his chin toward the now empty seats where the blonde guy sits alone. "How long those two been together?" Maggie makes a face, "Negan and Sherry?" Rick nods, "Sherry is with Dwight." She whispers, nodding her head toward the blonde man. Rick frowns, "I heard Negan hitting on Sherry this morning." Maggie laughs, "He's like that with everyone Rick." Maggie's sighs, "Worked with him almost five years now, heard about every new conquest. Mans got more knotches in his belt than even he knows how to count." Rick excused himself to the bathroom. 

"The surprised looks come from the fact that you've never said that about anyone. Just things like they have a nice mouth I want to fuck it" Sherry takes a drag from her cigarette. "You really like this guy?." Negan flicks the ashes to the ground, "I don't know what this feeling is Sherry."  
"You've known him for what, 5 hours now? You think he's attractive. And you don't have a date tonight. You've broken the cycle, usually it takes you 5 minutes on a bad day to get a date." Negan can't help but laugh, "Well shit. Don't you just have me all figured out. Carol told me to leave him alone and that's exactly what I fucking intend to do." Sherry exhaled the last of her smoke and steps on the butt, rolling her eyes as she walks back into the building, clearly this was something he was going to have to figure out himself.  
'Leave him alone,' Negan told himself. 'Rick is too pure of a person to want a fuck up like me.' Negan butted out his cigarette and walked back inside, heading for his office instead of meeting Rick back in the lunch room. 

* * *

Rick decided to make his way back to Negans office instead of going back to the lunch room. He hadn't thrown up but he certainly needed to splash some water on his face. Rick stopped in the doorway, Negan was sitting at his computer with both hands running through his hair, he looked stressed. "Oh sorry, I uh, didn't know you would be in here." Negan pushed some papers forward, "Carol just brought these in. I think you're smart enough to do them on your own. If you have any fuckin' problems just shoot me a text. Give me your phone I'll put my number in." He didnt even look up at him. Rick was taken aback, Negans attitude changed from before and it seems like he didn't even want Rick near him anymore. He nodded and handed Negan his phone, took his chair and the paperwork and left without looking over his shoulder. 

Rick didn't have any issues with finishing up the paperwork Negan had given him, he tried to get lost in it and the next time he looked at his phone it was five minutes to quitting time. He wanted to go tell Negan he finished it all without a problem but he decided against it, he probably didn't want to see him anyway, so he shot a quick text.

R: I finished inputting the data. Thanks for your help today. (3:57pm)

He pressed send and packed up to head home, relieved that his first day was finished. When he walked into his apartment he breathed a sigh of relief. He went to the fridge and grabbed some leftover pasta to reheat from the night before. He sat on the couch and shovelled a bite of spaghetti in his mouth when he remembered his phone in his pocket. He felt like he was in high school waiting for a reply to his text, but when he looked at his phone, there was nothing. Rick felt a sinking feeling in his stomach, maybe Negan just didn't like him. "Not everyone is gonna like you" he told himself, "First guy I meet in Virginia and I get a stupid crush. He's probably straight too what is wrong with you Grimes?" 

He finished up his spaghetti and decided he was going to stay in. Not like he had any friends here to go out with, but it was Monday and he was going to get to bed early. He put on a movie and decided he didn't care if he fell asleep on the couch. Rick was 2 movies and a bag of cheetos in, he was almost dozing when his phone buzzed.

N: No problem Ricky boy (9:21pm)

R: It's just Rick. (9:22pm)

N: hi just Rick (9:23pm)

N: btw I like cocks too (9:23pm)

R: I'm going to assume you're either drunk or stoned. Maybe we should save this conversation for tomorrow. (9:27pm)

N: 2 milk 2 sugar Rick. Gonna need a big cup of coffee tmr. (10:42)

Rick should have been asleep when he got Negans last message, he had been trying. He checked his phone and groaned, he knew Negan must have been intoxicated but the reason he was tossing and turning was that Negan liked men too. And why did he tell him? Just a solidarity thing? And what kind of person drinks on a Monday night? Why can't he stop thinking about his stupid face and the way his smile lights up Ricks insides? Tomorrow would be interesting.  
Rick set his alarm for 10 minutes early so he could stop to get coffee before work.

* * *

Negan had his face in his hands when his phone buzzed, he perked up for a second thinking it was Rick since he just gave him his number but it was Simon, he was like a brother to him. Maybe he could talk to him about all this Rick bullshit. 

S: heyyy you wanna come over and watch the game tonight? (1:13pm) 

N: sounds good I'll bring the beer. (1:14pm)

S: grab some chips too (1:15pm)

N: fuck you (1:15pm)

Negan went up to Simon's apartment, beer under his arm and a bag of cheetos in the other. He didn't bother knocking, it was like a second home to him, it has been for years since his parents kicked him out for bringing a guy home. Simon was sitting in his sweats smoking a joint, Negan tossed him a beer and Simon frowns, "Hey buddy, you look stressed. Long day?" Negan huffs a breath, "Training a new guy." Negan sits next to Simon and cracks a beer. "Pizzas on the way. That's shitty about the training. I hate training new people, most of 'em are dumb as fuck." Negan hesitates for a minute, "Simon do you believe in love at first sight?" Simon shuts the TV off and turns to look straight at Negan. "Love? What the shit are you talking about?" Negan laughed at his friend. "We gotta drink a few more of these first." He said tapping on his can. 

"..And then, I told him, go back to your own office. And knowing he- he was right down that fucking hall, it took everything in me Simon. Took everything not to march down there and, and make him breakfast." Negan crushed his 11th beer can, he had only brought a 12 pack. "I've never seen you like this about anyone man. Fuck, you've been with hundreds, maybe even thousands of people and you've never remembered their names let alone drink on a Monday night about one." Simon was lounging on the opposite side of the couch, puffing another joint. "You're allowed to open up to people man. You couldn't have thought the serial dater gig was gonna last forever did ya? If you like him, ask him out, you might be surprised at what you get." Was Negan crying? "I just wanted to make him breakfast, and he saw me with Sherry. He doesn't even know I like men." Simon laughed, "Maybe start with that. I'm gonna call you an taxi man, go home and go to bed. Maybe try being a little nicer to this Rick guy." Negan sniffed and nodded. While Simon called a taxi, Negan pulled out his phone.


	4. Chapter 4

Rick woke to the sound of his phone alarm screaming next to his ear. The first thing he did was check his phone. Was last night real? His headache told him yes. He tried to think when he fell asleep and the last time he looked at his phone was two thirty in the morning. The time on his phone indicated it was six. Time to get up and get that coffee. 

Rick got to work on time this morning, first stopping at his own office to get organized and catch his breath. When he realized he was going to see Negan face to face after those texts last night he suddenly became very aware of the butterflies in his stomach.

He wasn't sitting for two minutes when he hears a knock. "C-come in" he stutters. He breathed a sigh of relief when Carol opened the door. "Good morning Rick. How was your day yesterday?" She chimed. Rick thought about yesterday, it was a rollercoaster. "It was good. A great first day." Carol smiled, "Negan called me this morning and told me you did some files on your own? He said you did a fantastic job and that you don't need a week to get get acclimated." Rick was lost for words, he didn't quite understand what was happening, Negan didn't want to work with him after one day? Maybe he really does just think he's good on his own. But the thought still left Rick confused. "Also Negan isn't coming in today. Something about a stomach flu, we don't need that here." Carol wiped her hands on her pants absently. "So! here are a few things to keep you busy today. I won't give you the usual load but you can start with these." 

Rick took the files from Carol and thanked her. When she left he quickly took out his phone seeing if he had any messages, but there was nothing. Maybe his hangover was just too bad to come in. He looked at the cup of coffee on his desk, and then looked at the floor. He was tired of the rollercoaster, this tornado wreaking havoc on his life. He came to Virginia to live how he wanted to. Rick pulled up the texts from last night, he decided he was done with the uncertainty. 

R: Do you want to have dinner with me tonight? (8:16am)

N: I'll cook, you come over. (8:16am)

Rick couldn't help but smile at his phone. Negan must really be hungover then, he wasn't avoiding him. And maybe he told Carol how good he was so that she wouldn't be upset at him for calling in sick. Rick smirked to himself. 

R: You cook? (8:17am)

N: Yes I fucking cook Rick (8:17am)

R: Time? Address? (8:18am)

N: 240 Walker Drive. Apartment 316. Come around 6 (8:19am)

"Holy shit." Rick said outloud, his stomach felt like it fell out of his body. Rick had moved into the very same apartment building. What are the chances? How had he not seen him around or in the elevator? He was only a floor up, Rick was apartment 416. Hands shaking, he responded.

R: see you at 6. (8:25am)

He couldn't believe that number one, Negan actually said yes to a sort of date. Was it a date? Well what else would it be?  
And number two, well they were basically neighbours. Knowing that Negan was just a floor down every night made his imagination go to a lot of places. 

Rick had no problem flying through the paper work Carol had assigned him. He looked up at the time on his lap top and it was already noon. He made his way to the lunch room to buy something small from Glenn. He didn't really have much of an appetite right now on account of his nerves. Rick spotted Maggie in the corner reading a magazine, no Glenn in sight. 

"Mind if I join you?" Rick asked. Maggie looked up and smiled, "Sure, Rick." She put down her magazine. "No Glenn today?" Maggie shook her head. "Not today, he had a dentist appointment." Maggie saw that Rick didn't have lunch, so she split her sandwich in half and passed one to Rick. "I'm not gonna take no for am answer so let's not making this embarrassing." She said taking a bite. Rick smirked "Thank you." He took a bite of his half. 

"No Negan today?" She said finishing her sandwich. "Nah he's out sick today, but uh, we are having dinner tonight, hes making it." Maggie's eyebrows shot up. "Rick don't say I didn't warn you. Negan isn't the relationship type." Rick was fiddling with the corner of his phone, "I've uh, don't exactly have experience in that department either. I've never um, you know" He said, blushing. She nodded and sighed. "Yeah okay. You get a free pass then...how old are you? Out of curiosity, cause you know, there's nothing wrong with waiting." Rick smirked. "I'm 24 Maggie. So if you're asking me if I care if all he wants is one night, that's fine with me. I don't need anything serious but I need some experience in my life. That's the real reason I moved up here." Rick looked at the table. "My family, theyre a little less than accepting of the whole, you know, gay thing." Maggie nodded. "I get it Rick. I won't think any less of you." Rick smiled at her. "I have no expectations or limitations going into this. I'm open to whatever happens." Maggie smiles deviously, "I can't wait to hear what happens." She says with a little excitement. Rick nodded, "Me too. Thanks for lunch Maggie."

Carol provided more work to get Rick through the afternoon. She was impressed by his work and said Negan made the right call. It made him feel good that he was already making friends and on his boss's good side. 

Rick checked his phone a few times, half expecting Negan to change his mind but nothing ever came through. The butterflies in his stomach were hard at work but there was also something else there, a fire in his belly he had never felt before. 

He finished through the rest of the files and it brought him to the end of the day. He basically had an hour and a half to get ready, he had stopped at the store on his way home for a bottle of wine. He may not have been able to cook but he did know his wines. He chose something light that would go with mostly anything. 

When Rick got home he showered, and chose his outfit carefully. He decided on a navy blue and black pinstripe button up and black jeans with his cowboy boots. He combed his wet hair back so his curls would dry relatively tame. 

Rick was ready for his date, his first date with a man. He pictured Negans face, and that stupid smile, feeling the butterflies get wilder in his belly. He gulped down his nerves and just hoped that the evening went well. He wiped his sweaty palms off on a towel and grabbed the bottle of wine. He locked the door behind him and took the stairs down a floor. Rick got to door 316, took a deep breath, and knocked three times. 

* * *

Negans alarm roared, breaking him out of the coma he might as well have been in. He smashed the button on his alarm cock and cradled his head. Beer does this to him every time, he knew better. 

Negan picked up his phone and immediately remembered texting Rick last night. He opened their messages and read what he had said. "Ugh shit." Negan said out loud. There was no way he could look Rick in the eyes this morning, he called Carols direct office line. He knew she was always there ridiculously early. 

Carol bought it hook, line and sinker. Even told her about how Rick did some work on his own yesterday and how he was so perfect, he didn't need a week up Negan's ass, not that he'd mind much if he was. He collapsed back down on his bed, replaying last night's conversation with Simon. Is he ready for something like that? Negan shook his head. Rick had infiltrated every thought in Negans waking life for the passed twenty four hours. The way the blue eyed man smirked at him, rolled his eyes, and the way that mouth didn't take his shit. "Ughhhhh." Negan rubbed his hands through his hair, he needed some pain killers and a joint to straighten him out. 

Negan sat on his balcony drinking a large cup of coffee and puffed on his smoke, at least it wasn't too warm out. He contemplated what he would do about Rick, he didn't want to fuck anything up. His reputation is well known around the office he wouldn't be surprised if the first things out of Maggie's mouth were that Negan was a slut, she wouldn't be lying though. He didn't take Rick for the type of guy who slept around, hell it didn't seem like he was getting much at all with that stick up his ads. He wouldn't mind replacing it with something else. He decided his best course of action would be to let Rick come to him, he just had to turn up the charm. 

Negan butted out his joint and gulped down the rest of his coffee, the pair had defunitely cleared his brain out. He was about to get up when his phone buzzed in his hand. Negan looked at his phone and saw Ricks name, his stomach jumped up in his throat, after last night he wasn't sure how this was going to go. 

R: Do you want to have dinner with me tonight? (8:16am)

Negan grinned. "No fucking way."


	5. Chapter 5

Thirty seconds felt like an eternity.  
Negan opened the door, first with a confused face which turned into a wide tooth grin. Ricks jaw dropped a little at the sight of Negan. He was wearing a solid black button up with black jeans, his hair slicked back in the same way he had pictured over and over in the passed twenty four hours. "Expecting someone else?" Rick asked, a little nervously realizing he had been staring too long. "Was expecting to have to buzz you in," Negan looked Rick over, licking his lips when he made his eyes back up to blue ones. "But I am pleasantly fucking surprised. Come on in." He said, stepping aside to hold the door open. 

Rick handed Negan the bottle of wine, "Wasn't sure what you were makin', but this goes well with most things." Negan looked over the label, "I don't know shit about wine Grimes. As long as it's got an alcohol content I'm sure it'll pair just fine." Rick huffed a laugh, "What are you cookin' anyway? Smells delicious." Negan walked over to the stove and waved him over. He took the lid off of a large pot and grabbed a wooden spoon, stirring the sauce. He lifted the spoon to his lips and blew on the steam. After a minute he brought the spoon to Ricks mouth, "Spaghetti sauce. My fucking specialty, give it a try." 

Negan and Rick locked eyes, Rick opened his mouth, inviting the spoonful. He felt himself involuntarily flush. "It's really, really good Negan." He watched as Negan put the spoon back into the pot, and grabbed the bottle of wine. "So, tell me Rick," Negan walks to the living room, intending for Rick to follow. He pulls out two wine glasses from a rack by a mini bar. "You seeing anyone?" 

Rick watches Negan pour two glasses of wine, he takes one off the table and immediately gulps it down, finishing the glass. He knew where this conversation was going and he was going to have to tell Negan he was a virgin. In truth he was scared this would scare him away. "No, I'm not seeing anyone." Negan looked surprised, realizing this could be a touchy subject after he just watched Rick down his drink. "Need something a little stronger there champ?" Rick nodded. He was really nervous, Negan was almost intimidating and maybe that's why he was drawn to the man. Rick was a little more timid, not very outgoing or bubbly. A little too serious sometimes. Negan was the complete opposite of all those things. 

Negan went to the mini bar and grabbed a bottle of scotch. "You good with scotch?" He asked. Rick nodded again, "Yeah it's my favourite actually." Negan smiled at that. He poured him two fingers and passed him the glass. Rick downed that too, then sighed. "Thank you. I uh, feel a little more prepared now." Rick laughed.

Rick sat on the opposite end of the couch of Negan, a little more relaxed now. "So, how was work?" Negan asked, smiling deviously. Rick rolled his eyes in reply, "Great actually. Had lunch with Maggie again, she's really nice I can see her and I becoming good friends." It was Negans turn to roll his eyes. "Yeah she's just a peach. She doesn't think much of me." Rick had a smile on his face, a little inhibited from the alcohol and empty stomach. "Nah she thinks you're alright Negan. She just don't like you tryin' to sleep with everything that has a heart beat." Negan laughed, "She should try it some time, who knows someone might be able to pry that stick out of her ass." Rick shook his head in disapproval, but chuckled anyway.

"Anyone missin' you back home Rick?" Negan sipped his wine. Rick sipped his second glass. "Nah, I doubt my parents are even giving me a second thought." Negan eyed Rick, "You don't seem all that fuckin bad to me. What did you do? Kill the family dog?" Rick took another drink. "No, nothing was the same when they found out I wasnt straight. Acted like I was invisible. Everyone did." He finished his glass. Negan nodded, like he understood the feeling. "I'm sorry that happened to you Rick. Who was the prick that outed you?" Rick looked at the the almost empty wine bottle, Negan took the hint and refilled his glass. "He was my best friend. There were three of us. Lori and Shane were like my family." Rick took the wine glass in hand. "Lori, She uh, she had a thing for me. Didn't understand why I didn't want to be with her. She thought if we were best friends it would be easy to take that next step." 

Negan watched Rick as he opened up to him. By the sounds of it, Rick didn't really have anyone to talk to so he didn't mind being his sounding board. For the first time he actually listened to someone instead of making it all about himself. And hell, it seemed like Rick really needed to get some shit off his chest.

"She must have talked Shane into gettin' me drunk, to try and convince me to be with her. But I ended up tellin' him the truth. After that it didn't take long, everyone knew my secret. I was almost out of Georgia, no one would have had to know." Rick realized he had gone on a tangent and looked up to see Negan shaking his head. "That's fucked up Rick." Rick nodded. He breathed deeply, it felt good to get that all off his chest. He didn't realize how badly he needed to spill his guts. 

"Whaddaya say we eat some dinner now? Soak up some of that alcohol." Rick blushed a little, he had been the only one drinking, Negan had barely finished a glass. 

They finished dinner, not discussing the past any further. Negan loved the praise for his cooking, that's mostly why he had chosen to cook for Rick, he knew he was a good cook and also loved hearing it. 

"That really was amazing Negan, thank you again." And he meant it. He was a lousy cook and hadn't had a good home cooked meal in a long time. Negan reached his hand out and rubbed his thumb across Ricks lower lip, he looked in Negans eyes, was he going to kiss him? He felt the heat in his belly. He couldn't help but look down at Negans lips. When his eyes flicked back up to Negans eyes, the hazel eyed man chuckled. "Got some sauce on your lip." Rick blushed. He felt like an idiot, and avoided Negans eyes. 

Negan loved when Rick got this look on his face, like he was embarrassed. He bit his bottom lip, memorizing the color on his cheeks spreading to his neck, wanting to compare it to the color somewhere else. Rick was gorgeous. He didn't understand how he didn't have a line up of guys at his door, even in small town Georgia. If Rick hadn't found anyone to date, surly he found someone to fuck. He couldn't be that innocent. 

Negan looked toward his balcony, "Rick have you ever smoked weed before?" He asked with knowing smirk. Rick was no stranger to spirits or the occasional cigarette, but weed was something that just wasn't around his town, he had never had the opportunity to try it. And now that he was out on his own, and the alcohol still affecting his inhibitions, he thought screw it. Might as well live a little. 

"You gotta say you wanna try it Rick, I'm not peer pressuring here." Negan licked the paper and curled the joint tightly. "Yeah I'll give it a try." Rick nodded. It was a beautiful evening, both men were sitting in deck chairs looking out at the surprisingly nice view. There was a park not far in the distance where he could see dogs running around with their owners. His attention was caught back when Negan flicked his lighter and lit the joint. He inhaled deeply, then a look of complete relaxation came over him as he exhaled. Rick watched, how did Negan make that look hot too? There was a cool breeze but he was certainly feeling hot under the collar. 

"Kinda thought you might be a bitch about this, not everyone is cool with it." Negan flicked the ashes into a tray on a small table in the middle of the two men. "I may not have a whole lot of experience with, well, anything." Rick looked out at the view again, "But that doesn't mean I'm not open minded." Negan passed Rick the joint. "Touché" Negan replied on exhale. "Just take a few puffs and that's it. Don't need you goin' green on me." Rick took a few small inhales, not minding the taste, but immediately started into a coughing fit once it filled his lungs. Negan laughed, Rick snapped his head and frowned at Negan while he continued to hack. "I'm not laughing at you Rick. I'm laughing with you. Plus, coughing means its working." Rick caught his bearings and handed back the joint. "Now lie back Rick, chill out and let it do it's thing." 

Negan continued to smoke, and Rick sat back letting his body relax into the chair. He definitely felt something, his mouth felt dry and his eyes felt like they were floating. Not in a bad way though. 

After about ten minutes, Negan figured Rick had enough time to adjust to the euphoria. "How are you feeling?" Rick kept his eyes closed, "Feels good, great. I feel great. Light. A little dry." Negan laughed. "Can you move?" Rick opened his eyes then, barely. Negan laughed. "Your eyes are redder than the devil's dick Rick. Hey your name rhymes with dick." That made Rick laugh hysterically. "Like I've never heard that one before Negan. Especially after, you know." The laughter died down. 

Negan was definitely curious to know Ricks history. Their stories had been so similar, he just wasn't ready to open up about that. Rick seemed to care a lot about his family if he denied who he was just to keep them happy. "Must have been really hard to find guys to fuck, having to be so secretive. At least now you don't have to tip toe around and hide it anymore." 

Rick had been mesmerized by the sun that was now setting, making the sky look like a famous painting. When he clued into what Negan was asking him, he really didn't feel like beating around the bush. He wanted to get everything out in the open, so if Negan laughed at him, made fun of him, or was turned off by it then it wasn't a huge loss. He could still get out now before he fell in love with him. Love? He shook his head. "What?" Negan asked. Rick was pulled out of the thought. "No I couldn't ever hook up with anyone. I was always too scared that somehow my parents would find out. Or someone would see me on a date and tell. It was a cause for too much anxiety so it wasn't worth it to me." Negan looked puzzled, trying to piece together what he was just told. Rick caught it so he tried to word it differently without having to use key words. It was too embarrassing to say them. "I've never been intimate with anyone. I haven't ever had the chance. I couldn't pretend with a woman, I didn't need it that badly."

Negan sat back, stunned. "Well holy fucking shit Rick." Staring out at the setting sun. Rick searched Negans face, stopping on his eyes, lit up like fire as they reflected the sky. There wasnt anger there, and he wasnt laughing. "Youre lucky." Negan said finally. Now Rick was the one confused, Negan catching it and continuing, "Most people dont lose their virginity to someone they really love. And most people have a lot of sex with people they dont love. You get to do that." Negan never tore his eyes from the horizon. Rick couldnt look away from the fire. "Most people wish they could have waited until their soul mate. You know, the one. If you believe in that kind of thing. I know I do." Rick smiled, it wasn't the answer he was expecting from the man at all. Negan broke the silence, "But I gotta ask Rick, how fucking old are you?" Rick laughed, "Maggie asked me the same thing when she found out. I'm twenty four." Negans eyebrows shot up as he nodded his head. "Well shit."

The sun had finally set and the effects of the joint starting to wane. "Want to watch a movie?" Negan turned to Rick. "Sure, what did ya have in mind?" Rick asked. "Dawn of the Dead. It's a classic." Rick nodded, "That sounds nice." 

Rick settled on the couch, this time next to Negan, allowing their thighs to touch. Negan looked down at the contact and looked up at Rick. "Negan." Rick said flatly, "Rick." Negan grinned back. Ricks eyes roamed Negans face, not believing he was this close to someone so beautiful. He had never been so captivated by anyone before. "Can I kiss you?" Rick whispered, eyes on his mouth. Negan didn't bother answering, he leaned in and took Ricks mouth in his. 

Rick had never felt anything as good as Negans mouth. As Negan took the lead their mouths danced together, tongues lapping into one another. Ricks face was heating up, he didn't know how far this was going to go and suddenly he was nervous. He didn't think he was ready to go all the way tonight or so quickly, and he broke the kiss. Flustered, he tried to think of an excuse but Negan held up his hands before anything came out. "We can go slow. As slow as you want. I'll follow your lead." Rick nodded, and leaned his body up against Negans. It was getting late, they werent really into the movie anyway. "Want to walk me home?" Negan looked at Rick, "You walked here?" Rick smiled a devious grin. "Yeah I live really close." 

Negan went to grab a sweater but Rick stopped him. "You won't need that." Still smiling. As they walked down the hall, Rick took Negans hand. They got in the elevator and Rick pressed for floor 4. Negan spun to face Rick but he put his fingers on his own lips as if to shush the taller man. When the elevator doors opened Negan couldn't help it. "What in the fuckity fuck is going on here Rick?" Rick couldn't help but laugh now, the weed and alcohol still clouding his brain. He hooked his arm through Negans and led him to door 416. "This is me." He said with a big toothy grin. Negans mouth hung open, "You- you're...my, you fucking live here?" Rick nodded, grin never faltering. Negan smiled, Rick was pretty sure Negans mind had gone where his had when he thought about how close Negan was to him at all times. 

"Thank you for dinner Negan, and the whole evening. I had a really nice time." Negan tilted Ricks chin upward to kiss him softly, not taking it deeper this time. Ricks lips tingled when Negan drew back. "I did too. Goodnight Rick." Rick opened his apartment,  
"And we are so fucking carpooling." Negan beamed as he walked away. Rick closed the door behind him. It would be an interesting day at work tomorrow. 

Ricks pretty sure he fell asleep smiling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment and subscribe :)


	6. Chapter 6

Negan paced absently through his apartment, cigarette hanging from his lips. He had to process the evening he just had with Rick, still couldn't believe half the shit they spoke about. 

Rick hadn't done anything sexual before, so he was going to have to proceed with caution. He didn't even know if he was capable of doing that, he had never had anything remotely close to a long term relationship except for that one time he fucked the same girl for a few weeks. But he was also fucking other people too of course. Negan stopped pacing, he rubbed his hands through his hair, "That doesn't fucking count." He said, scolding himself. 

After a few more cigarettes and a glass of scotch the only thing he was certain of is he wanted to keep seeing Rick. He wasnt sure how it was going to work, but he'd never given a shit about anyone's feelings romantically until he met those sea blue eyes. Even now he could feel a pull in his chest knowing that he was so close by. For the first time in his life he didn't care that the date ended with a kiss. He'd felt more on Ricks lips than any physical body had given him. He decided he was going to have to be careful not only with Rick but with himself.

* * *

"You've been an amazing addition to the team." Carol beamed. "I couldn't be happier, you're a model employee Rick. That's it your probation is over, now you can call this office your own, permanently." Rick blushed at the praise. "Thank you ma'am. Feels like I've been here longer than three months, not in a bad way." He backtracked on the end. Carol smiled and nodded in agreement before leaving him with his work. 

Rick sighed in relief, he couldn't sleep the night before because he was so nervous about this ninety day performance review and evaluation. He knew he was doing fine but it was in his nature to obsess over things like this. Now that he was alone he could let his body relax, it had been tense for hours. 

At his desk, Rick let his thoughts wander to the previous night. Negan was over which was typical now, they spend most evenings together. They were taking things slow which Rick liked, but he wishes Negan would take charge more. He felt ready for so much more but he didn't want to push. 

Negan had finally let Ricks hand wander further down than his waistband, where he finally got to feel how big Negan actually was. They had spent many nights making out and rubbing against each other, he knew he was going to be big but he didn't think he would be as huge as he was feeling now. It made Rick audibly gasp, which made Negan smile against Ricks mouth, which only made Rick want him even more. 

Every time Rick had tried to take things to the next level, Negan would always make Rick come so they couldn't progress. It was usually Negan giving Rick a hand job and a lot of kissing to end the night. Negan had never tried to stay the night and would always leave at the same time, so Rick didn't ask because he figured he would get the same answer he always did from the man, that they were taking things slow. 

Rick tapped on his desk. He was all for going slow but they were going nowhere, they hadnt even had sex, not by his standards. And they never did anything at work, the only people who knew they were even that close were Maggie and Glenn.

He had been in his head a lot recently about this. He thought by now they might have spoken about what they even were. He was beginning to doubt himself and Negan. He had never actually said the word exclusive, maybe they werent. 

Rick couldn't even focus on work at this point. Now that he had fallen down this rabbit hole it's all he could think about. Maybe he never stays the night because he has people come over when he goes home. The thought made Rick feel sick. He and Negan had shared a lot these passed few months and he really couldn't stand even spending 24 hours without seeing him. 

A knock on his office door made Rick jump out of this thoughts. Maggie opened the door with a smile on her face, and clicked it closed behind her. "How'd it go? I assume since you're still sittin' there that you're not being let go." Rick chuckled. "Yeah it went really well. I knew I was nervous for nothing I just can't stand stuff like this." Rick waved his hand. 

Maggie crossed her arms, "So, it's Friday and we're all going out for drinks to celebrate you." Rick rolled his eyes, "All? Who is all?" Maggie counted on each finger, "Let's see, me, Glenn, Aaron, Abe, Rosita, and Negan probably I just haven't asked him yet. Oh and Jesus, he's really excited." She said, winking. Rick blushed, "Maggie, I can't believe you think he likes me." Now it was Maggie's turn to roll her eyes, "He does Rick, it's so obvious. And plus you said this thing with Negan isn't even serious, it's been months. Maybe it's time for you to branch out if he's not giving you what you want. You know, live a little like you wanted." 

"Fine I'll go get drinks. I'll text Negan and see if he wants to come." Rick sighed. Maggie left the office smiling, undoubtedly off to tell Jesus it's a go. Rick grabbed his phone to let Negan know of tonight's plans. 

R: Maggie just informed me the office is going out for drinks tonight to celebrate. You coming? (10:38am)

N: I knew you'd do well. You worry for nothing. Of course im coming why would I pass up a night of drinking with a blue eyed babe? (10:38am)

R: because everyone from the office will be there. (10:39am)

N: and? (10:39am)

Rick sighed, he knew they would be pretending they were just friendly office associates all night instead of the lovers he felt they were. He wondered what Negan thought they were. He had been living in the bliss of their trysts for the passed few months but he was beginning to doubt they were anything more than friends with benefits. It hurt Rick to think that way, just last night while inhaling Negan scent, wrapped in his arms he felt three little words trying to escape his lips. 

R: we can go home first and cab to the bar together. (10:42am) 

N: fanfuckingtastic (10:42am)


	7. Chapter 7

Negan was whistling down the hallway headed for Ricks office. He was in an especially good mood because Rick was a permanent fixture in the office and they were going to celebrate, and because Rick would stop being so moody because of his nerves. It also could have been the conversation he had this morning with Maggie. His adrenaline had been firing ever since. 

* * *

"Mrs. Rhee, what can I do you for?" Negan winked. Maggie shut his office door behind her. "Oh so It's going to be this kind of talk?" He grinned. Maggie kept a stern look on her face and sat down opposite Negan, never really paying attention to his banter. "What are you doing with Rick?" She asks straight to the point. Negans smile doesn't falter, he licks his bottom lip. "He told me you know about us so why are you asking me when you already know the answer to the God damn question." Maggie rolled her eyes at Negan. "You know what I mean asshole. Tells me you're taking things slow, but the truth is he doesn't know where the hell it's going because you won't even acknowledge he's quite literally you're boyfriend." Negan looked shocked for once. "Did he say that?" He asked. Maggie shook her head, "No he didn't. But I just want you to know, I think it's only fair, that you're not the only one with eyes for Rick." Negans eyes narrowed, his heart started beating faster. "Jesus." Maggie nodded. "Mhmmm, and he's quite willing to give Rick what you seem to be holding back." 

Negan ran his hand through his hair, "Why are you telling me this? Wouldn't fucking surprise me if you were rooting for him." Maggie laughs, "I am. Because Jesus is a nice guy. But I see the way Rick looks at you and the way you look at him, and that's something Jesus can't give him." She said, getting up and pushing her chair in. "Wait." Negan stopped Maggie. "You knew me, before I knew Rick. I don't want to do that to him. I uh, I don't want to hurt him, ever. Im all fucked up because I've never gone further than the physical." Maggie put her hands on her hips, "If you want him, start acting like it." She opened the door, "If you've never told him, how can you expect him to know or understand." That was something Negan hadn't considered. 

* * *

Negan tapped on Ricks office door and walked in. He could still feel his heart palpaitate a little every time those baby blues looked up at him. Negan hadn't even been able to look at anyone else since the night of their first kiss. He knew Rick was it for him, he just didn't want to fuck it up. 

"Hey baby." He growled, walking over to perch on the edge of Ricks desk. He loved the way Ricks hair was always slightly deshevelled at the end of the day, and his cheeks a little flush from all the caffiene. Reminded him of how he looked most nights. 

Rick looked down and smiled, Negan knew that pet names were Ricks weak spot, baby being his favourite term of endearment. Negan licked his lips, "Come here." Rick looked confused but did as he was told and got up to stand in front of Negan. 

Rick stood between Negans legs, they were about the same height now. Negan wrapped an arm around Rick, fingers grabbing the back of his hair tightly. Ricks breath hitched, he had rarely got to see this side of Negan but it was his favourite. They never spoke about it after he was this way with him, but he had always hoped it would come out more often. And right now Rick could feel his pants getting a little tighter. 

Negan pulled him in for a kiss that was possessive, biting at Ricks bottom lip. Thank god it was the end of the day because he knew he'd make his lips red and puffy. They hadn't done this kind of thing at work before, it was equal parts thrilling and terrifying. 

Negan pulled back slightly from the kiss and smirks. "Want me to help you with that?" He asks as he palms Rick through his pants. Rick shook his head, "Not here." Negan kissed him again and got off the desk. Rick smirked as he watched him adjust himself to hide his arousal, as he was doing the same. He was proud that he could bring Negan to that state with just a kiss. 

This was Negans week to drive them to and from work, he always preferred to be the passenger so even when it was Ricks week, Negan just drove his car. Negan buckled himself in and Rick looked out the window, "Missed you at lunch today." Negan nodded, "I had to go run an errand." Ricks head whipped back to look at him. "I would have went with you." Ricks tone was a little hurt. He felt like Negan was going out of his way to make it look like they werent even friends. "Sorry Rick, this one was personal." 

Rick didn't like that answer, they drove in silence the rest of the way home. When they got to their building, Negan faced Rick, "Do you want to meet at my place in a half hour? We can get a little fuckin' stoned before we go, have a couple pre drinks?" Rick scoffed at Negan, "You and I both know that if we do that, we won't be going anywhere tonight." Negan rolled his eyes but kept his toothy grin. "What's so wrong with that Ricky boy? Maybe I had some special plans for tonight." Rick blushed, "We promised Maggie we would go. You even invited Dwight and Sherry so we have to go. Go have a shower, and I'll meet you at your place in a half hour." Negans grin widened, "Oh baby, I fucking love it when you boss me around." Rick shoved him, and Negan grabbed his arm pulling him almost into his lap, and kissed him hard. "I'm not done with you yet Grimes." He growled, kissing him again "And you absolutely are not the boss."

Rick was dizzy, Negan often left him feeling this way. He didn't have time to even reply because Negan was already out of the car and walking into their building. After a couple breaths Rick looked down, he had to wait a few minutes before getting out of the car. He wasn't sure what suddenly got into Negan but he wasn't mad about it. It was this whirlwind that had him swooning over the man in the beginning. 

He towel dried his curly hair and combed it back neatly. He was excited to get ready and head to Negans. Rick had a constant fire in his belly since Negan kissed him in the office. He wanted to have fun tonight so he pushed the errand Negan had to run out of his mind. He was hoping that he might be up for a little fun before they leave, Rick had never sucked Negan off before but it was something he really wanted to do, and right now he couldn't stop thinking about it. 

There were times when he and Negan had a heavy make out session and with the slightest friction he could come completely untouched. He wondered if the same would happen while on his knees for him. Negan had been impressed, where Rick had been embarrassed. He chalked it up to the fact he's been repressed for far too long.

He knocked and waited for Negan to unlock the door. When he opened it the first thing he noticed was the toothy grin, the next thing he noticed was that Negan was only wearing a towel. He rarely got to appreciate a shirtless Negan. His eyes canvassed the bare chest, memorizing every ripple, and how muscular and broad his shoulders were. He couldn't help when his eyes wandered downward, to the lean stomach and the hair that trailed down to his...Rick couldn't take it anymore, he pushed Negan inside and kicked the door shut behind him. 

Negan put his arms up, confused at first, but then he saw that familiar lust in Ricks eyes, "What the shit has got your panties in a twist?" Rick quickly moved in for a kiss, shutting Negan up, before falling to his knees. Negan looked down at a very flushed Rick, and holy shit, look at him taking charge. Rick reached up for the towel, "May I?" He asked, looking up. Negan hesitated, gripping the hem at his waist. "Uh, fuck, yeah Rick." And he let go of the towel, prompting Rick to pull it to the floor. 

Negan had started to get hard the second Rick fell to his knees, his length already an impressive size when Rick moved the towel. Negan looked down at those lustful blue eyes, he could come from that look alone. "Rick, I know you've never done this before. Just, just go slow, you won't be able to take the whole thing right away." Rick nodded, and looked at Negans hands, he took one and put it on the back of his head. "Like before, in the office." Negans cock sprung at his words. He grinned deviously, Rick seems to like it a little rough. He had to will down his excitement so he didn't make this unpleasant for Ricks first time. 

Ricks senses were flooded with everything Negan. His smell, his praising words, and now he was going to taste him. He pumped Negans length a few times before licking a stripe from root to tip. Negan audibly gulped, lips parting in short breaths. He grips the back of Ricks head a little tighter and Rick takes the head into his mouth, using his tongue to swirl little patterns on the underside. Negan couldn't believe he had waited this long, kept himself and Rick from this amazing moment. He hadn't ever gone this long without a blow job or sex for that matter. Three days used to seem like a long time never mind three months. He knew he wasn't going to last long.

Rick set a steady pace when he got more comfortable, he was able to take almost half of Negans cock in his mouth. He didn't mind the taste or the feeling of it on the back of his throat. What he loved most was the praise coming from the man above him. Every time Rick swirled his tongue over the head of his cock he illicited a reaction from him. 

"Yes fuck yes Rick, s-so good for me baby." Negan threw his head back, "holy fucking shit Rick your mouth was made for my fucking cock." He knew if he looked back down into those teary blue eyes he was going to come. Rick moaned around him and Negan couldn't help but look down, "Oh fuck Rick did you just come? Holy shit that's so fucking hot" Ricks brows where furrowed and he was struggling to keep his pace, Negan quickly pulled out of Ricks mouth and stroked himself, he was close. Negan pointed his cock at Ricks face, Rick nodded, opening his mouth. "You're God damn gorgeous, Rick." Negan whispered before painting Ricks face with his load. 

Rick licked his lips, taking Negans outstretched hand he stood up. It didnt taste bad at all, "Next time, I think I could swallow." Negan went to his hall closet to get a facecloth and threw it to Rick. "You can definitely fucking do that. Wouldn't have known that was your first time if you hadn't told me." Rick smirked in response. "Yeah, tell that to my Google searches." Negan laughed, he went to his room and grabbed a pair of boxer briefs and threw them to Rick. "Here, put these on. Call a cab and I'll get dressed. We're gonna be late." Negan winked. "Now who is the one being bossy?" Rick chided. Negan walked over to Rick and grabbed him by the waist, he kissed down his neck, when he got just below his caller he bit Rick and the sucked hard, leaving an instant purple hickey. If Rick even moved slightly you'd see the top of it. "I told you Rick. You are absolutely not the fucking boss. I am."


	8. Chapter 8

"Hey! There's the man of the hour!" Glenn shouted across the bar when Rick and Negan walked in. Rick looked up at Negan, but he wasn't paying attention, he was looking around presumably for his friends. He looked down at Negans hands, unsure if he should take one in his. Before he could decide, Negan looked down and smiled, "Why don't you go grab a drink, Dwight has a beer for me already." He nodded his head toward a table over to the side. Rick looked over and Dwight and Sherry raised their glasses. He smiled at Negan, "Sure, I'll uh, catch up with you later then." He walked over toward Glenn and Maggie, he pushed down his disappointment. 

"I'm beginning to think you're just using the end of my probationary period as a reason to get shit faced." Rick took the drink Maggie had got for him. "With this exciting career? Who needs to make up a reason to celebrate?" Maggie said sarcastically. The three of them clinked their glasses and laughed. 

"So," Maggie started, "You and Negan came here together. Are you guys together, together now?" Rick shot a glare at maggie. "I don't know what the hell is goin' on with us." He started playing with the condensation building up on his glass. "Sometimes it feels like we don't have to say anything at all, cause all that matters is that moment. And you know, I would have been alright if all we were doin' was hooking up. But uh, technically that hasn't happened yet." Maggie nodded her head, but the look on Glenn's face told Rick that Maggie was good at keeping their private conversations private.

Glenn cleared his throat, "Well have you guys ever, you know, talked about it?" Rick shook his head. "The most I can get out of him is that he wants to take it slow. I think after three months I can take a hint." Rick took back the last of his drink. "When we're alone, we talk. You know, I know all about his family and his childhood. He's become my best friend." Rick looked over his shoulder to make sure Negan wasn't close by, "but he's never had a relationship, that much I know. And at 29, I just think he knows what he wants, and that's not one of those things." Glenn piped up, "But, he never slept with you and tossed you. That's gotta be something, right?" Rick tilted his head in consideration, "Or maybe he just likes having a close friend, maybe he thinks if we sleep together it would be too much like a relationship. It's like he hesitates every time I want to touch him. I'm good with a hook up but I don't want to be toyed with."

Rick turned around to look for Negan at the table where Dwight and Sherry were, but he wasn't there. He turned back to his table and frowned, maybe he went out for a smoke. Before he could investigate further, Jesus and Aaron walked over to their table, "Hey guys, mind if we join you?" Jesus had two drinks in hand. Maggie smiled, "Not at all." She answered for the group. 

"Hey Rick, I got you a rum and coke." Jesus passed him the drink and he blushed. "Th-thank you." He took a seat beside Rick. Jesus was gorgeous of course, his eyes even more crystalline than his own. He wasn't naive to his glances and subtle flirting, he just wasn't Ricks type. He guesses brutish assholes were more his thing, he smirked. "Something funny?" Jesus asked, knocking Rick out of his head. "Just uh, you got my drink order right. Thank you again." Jesus glanced at a smiling Maggie, "I got a tip from a mutual friend." 

Their table fell into comfortable conversation, about work and personal projects, so Rick took that as his opportunity to look around for Negan, he would be inside by now if he was having a cigarette. He turned his body to scan the room, he still wasn't with Dwight or Sherry. He looked further back in the room and his stomach fell when he finally spotted Negan in a dark corner at a small table with a woman. She was full figured with dark curly hair, and he couldn't stop staring at the way Negan was looking at her. Rick watched her grab her coat and purse as she stood up, Negan standing up with her. Next thing he knew they had walked out the door togerher. Rick swung back to his table, willing himself not to vomit in front of everyone. He felt as though someone had kicked him in the gut, the anger filling his head and clouding his judgement. 

He couldn't understand how Negan could do that to him, right in front of him none the less. He hated him, he would get a new job if he had to, he never wanted to see him again. There was no doubt in Ricks mind that Negan had never stopped seeing other people. He was being used. Rick turned toward Jesus, "Want to go up to the bar and get a drink with me?" 

Jesus stood close to Rick, his arm brushing against him. They had gotten tequila shots and were about six rounds in. Rick could still feel the hurt coursing through him, Jesus had been telling Rick how he noticed him the first day he started but he was too nervous to ever make a move. Rick couldn't help but smile, it was flattering especially because no man had ever said these things to him. Jesus ran his fingers through Ricks hair, "Its these curls, and that Georgia drawl." Rick blushed at his words, and when he looked into those crystal eyes, he decided he didn't want to hurt anymore and maybe the lips on the man in front of him were the remedy. But before he could decide, Jesus snaked an arm around Ricks waist and pulled him in for a kiss. Rick stiffened for a moment but relaxed into it, swirling his tongue against the one in his mouth. 

* * *

"Hey guys what the fuck is up?" Negan pulled out a chair to join Dwight and Sherry for a drink. He always knew they kept to themselves and he thought it would be rude if he didn't at least spend a bit of time with them before joining Rick. He glanced over at Rick and saw he was already sipping a drink, so he relaxed a little. After what Rick just pulled back at the apartment, he knew he didn't have to worry about Jesus anymore.

"So, what's going on with you and blue eyes anyway?" Sherry questioned. Negan stretched, resting his hands behind his head. "I don't kiss and tell." He winked at Sherry. "Yes you do Negan. It's your thing." Sherry bit back. Negan looked at Dwight and he nodded his head in agreement. "Well excuse the fuck out of me if I'd like to keep something private for once." Negan said a little too seriously. "Ah fuck it I can't help myself." He grinned. Negan scooted in his chair to get closer and looked over to see if Rick was paying attention. "Think I got myself a whole God damn relationship." Negan dug in his pocket and pulled out a small silver key. "Had this made on lunch break." He said twirling it in his fingers. "When we get home tonight, I'm gonna give it to him. It's a key to my apartment, and I'm hoping that he'll move in with me." Dwight and Sherry exchanged a look of surprise and confusion. Dwight looked back to Negan, "I didn't even know you two were hooking up." Negan put the key back in his pocket. "We aren't, really. Well sort of." He fumbled. "Okay look. We aren't fucking. We have never slept together, in both regards. But we're fucking close alright? Not that we don't do anything, I mean, he couldn't get off his fucking knees before we got here, does that count?" He winked at Dwight. He made a gagging noise in return and Sherry drained her bottle. 

Negan rested his head against the building, his ears were ringing from the noisy bar. He closed his eyes as he exhaled smoke. "Negan?" He opened his eyes, and he couldn't fucking believe he was staring at Lucille. 

It had been over ten years since he's seen his best friend. They met in 3rd grade and spent everyday up until grad together. Lucille had got accepted into college a few states over and overtime they lost contact. Negan immediately took her in a hug, "What are you doing here?" He asked. "I moved back home! Just bought a house down here." Lucille beamed. "Do you have time for a quick drink to catch up?" Negan asked excitedly. Lucille looked down at her watch and bit her lip, "I have fifteen minutes Negan, so make it two drinks." She laughed. 

"So yeah for the first time in my life I think I'm happy. These passed three months have been the best with him." Negan picked at the label on his beer bottle. "I can't imagine life without him in it now. He's right over there, curly brown hair, amazing ass." Negan pointed across the room to Rick. "I always knew you'd find a good one, Negan." She looked down at her watch, "Shit, I gotta go. Fifteen turned into thirty real fucking quick." Negan stood up, "I'll walk you out." 

Negan put his number in Lucilles phone, "There, you have my number. Let's hang out soon, id like to meet your wife, and I want you to meet my Rick." He hugged her tight. "I'll text you later!" She yelled as she walked back up the block. 

Negan felt on top of the world, his life was finally coming together and he realized this is what he always wanted. He couldn't wait to tell Rick about Lucille, and how much he loved him. Negan stopped before opening the door. This was the first time he had realized that he loved Rick. 

Negans insides felt like they were going to fall out. He had to get Rick home to tell him, he didn't want to do it in the middle of a loud bar. He grabbed the door and swung it open, he looked over at the table where Rick was and he only saw Maggie, Glenn and Aaron. He walked back over to Dwight and Sherry, "Hey, did you guys see Rick anywhere?" Sherry kicked Dwight under the table. "Uh. Man, maybe you should just go." Negan was confused, what the fuck was he talking about? Sherry piped up, "Negan, your boyfriend seems to be a little confused." She pointed at the bar, and Negan swung around to see Rick fully making out with that fuck face Jesus. 

* * *

"How does my fucking cock taste?" Rick jerked away from the kiss, and looked up to see Negan grab Jesus's jaw. "…What?" Jesus asked, eyes wide. "It was my fucking cock he had down his throat not two fucking hours ago." Negan yelled. Rick rubbed the palms of his hands into his eyes. He was a little too drunk for what was happening in front of him. Negan let go of Jesus' face, pushing it away. 

"Fuck you Negan." Rick spat. "Just leave. Get the fuck away from me." Negan put a hand on his chest, he swears he felt his heart breaking, and that quickly turned to anger. Negan smiled, a wide toothy grin and sucked on his teeth. He leaned in closer to Rick, "Oh Ricky, if he's what you want? Fucking go for it. But I guarantee after you've had him, you'll be crawling back to me, begging for my big fat cock." Negan leaned back, wide grin still painted on his face and anger blazing in his eyes. "And beg you certainly fucking will." Rick shot daggers with his eyes, "I don't want to speak to you, ever Negan. And I would never beg you, you-you-you fucking slut!" Rick snarled. He shot back the last of his tequila and stomped out if the bar.

"What the fuck are you looking at you asshole?" Negan said, when he looked up to see Jesus looking at him, mortified. "He said he wasn't seeing anyone." He answered. Negan glared at Jesus, he didn't understand where this was coming from. Rick had been all over him before they got here, what the fuck happened? Negan grabbed the drink in front of Jesus and shot it back, he grimaced realizing it was tequila but swallowed it down. "Go fuck yourself." He growled. He looked around to see he had drawn the attention to most of the people in after yelling about dick sucking. 

I gotta get the fuck out of here, he thought. But he didn't want to see Rick. Even saying his name in his mind made anger bubble up. "You fucking stupid fucking prick." Negan scolded himself, this is why he never wanted love, he quickly decided it wasn't worth the pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think of the story so far!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it really is a slow burn.  


The late morning sun lit up Ricks whole face now and he accepted the fact he was going to have to move. He sat up on his couch, where he had crashed after getting home last night, "ughhh." He groaned while massaging his temples. Rick tried to lick his lips but his mouth was dry. He looked across the room to his kitchen and rubbed his palms into his eyes. He willed himself up onto his feet and he paused to get his balance, he made his way into the kitchen and turned on the faucet to run cold. 

He felt like a bag of garbage, muscles sore from the awkward sleep on the couch. Rick leaned over the sink, putting his weight on the counter and closed his eyes. He grabbed a glass from the dish rack and held it under the cold stream until he felt water flowing over his hands. Without opening his eyes he gulped back as much water as his lungs would allow, without a breath. 

Rick panted, he didn't have much time to relish the relief of the cold liquid on his parched throat, when the entire contents of his stomach decided to projectile. He clutched the side of the counter as the entire contents of his stomach spilled over into the sink.

Once he was able to keep down a glass of water, he popped a couple pain killers. Rick began to piece together last night, he knew that it didn't go well, that's why he woke up alone. He clearly remembers looking around for Negan and seeing him with that pretty brunette and watching them walk out of the bar together, and Negan having that stupid face on while they spoke. Rick frowned, he thought Negan only looked at him like that, he should have listened to Maggie. Tears welled in the corners of his eyes, and just as quick as that thought, his phone vibrated. Speak of the devil, Rick sniffed and answered his phone.

"Hey Maggie, good timing I just woke up."

"I figured you had a rough night, I brought you some grease to cure that hangover." She giggled.

"I'll buzz you in."

"I don't really remember what happened after Jesus and I started taking shots at the bar." Rick said, licking the ketchup off his thumb. "Just remember getting out of an uber and falling down on the couch." Rick finished off his egg sandwich, and Maggie picked up their plates to bring them to the kitchen. "I can't believe Negan would do something so…Negan." 

She hopped back onto the couch, "So what did Negan say when he caught you?" Rick tilted his head, caught him what? Ricks hands flew up over his mouth. "What?" Maggie asked, "You don't remember?" Rick nodded with a panicked expression, "Maggie I kissed Jesus! I mean he kissed me. Negan came back and saw us!" Maggie cringed, "Yeah we all saw that part." 

Rick shook his head, "But why would he come back if he left with that woman?" Maggie shrugged, "I don't know Rick, she was gone when he confronted you." Rick hung his head, "He probably came back to tell me he was leaving with her." Maggie pondered that for a second, "Then he probably wouldn't have been angry about the kissing, if he was just leaving you anyway." Rick laid back on the couch and huffed. "I have no idea Maggie. I just know he was into her, the way he looked at her. It's the same look I've caught him giving me. Probably the same one he's used a million times before." Maggie patted Ricks leg, "He's probably thinking the same thing about your kiss. You should really talk to him." Rick tried to recall the kiss, Jesus used far too much tongue, it was sort of sloppy and it wasn't Negan. Not at all like the fire they had, and thinking about kissing Jesus made him feel like his breakfast was going to come right back up. 

"…Rick I spoke to Negan yesterday afternoon." Rick looked up at Maggie, confused because she actively goes out of her way to avoid him. She took that as her queue to continue, "I told him about Jesus, and about how he had been pining after you." Rick was mortified, and covered his face with his hands. "He told me he didn't want to fuck it up when I asked him what his intentions were. I'd say it's not like Negan to change his mind so fast, but it is." Maggie took Ricks hands in hers, tears had begun to form in the corners of his eyes. "Maybe try and redirect your thoughts and be thankful it hadn't went any further, that you weren't so invested." 

The sentiment made Rick frown, three months of sharing rides to and from work, three months of nights spent cuddling and kissing, three months that they didn't make love but that doesn't mean he didn't love Negan. Was he stupid for feeling so hurt? Probably, but he can't help how he feels. He was very invested, he had never had anything close to that with anyone, and Negan knew that, it didn't make sense that he would hurt him so blatantly. The gears started turning in his sober mind, it clicked that maybe he was never going to hook up with that woman. But that means…

"If you talk to Jesus… can you tell him I'm not interested?" Rick looked down, unable to look her in the eye. "Sure Rick, no problem." Maggie gave him a half hearted smile. "Thanks for coming over Maggie, I think I just need some time." Maggie nodded and moved to get up, but Rick grabbed her hand. "I think I loved him…love him." He couldn't hold back the tears anymore. "I think… wh-what if I fucked up Maggie? I...Why would he come back? Oh my god, I remember the look on his face." Rick sobbed into his hands, "Maggie what have I done?" Maggie rubbed small circles into Ricks back, "Its going to be okay Rick." She whispered. But Rick didn't feel like he was going to be okay, he felt horrible, and he had no idea what to do in this situation. 

It was late now but Rick decided he was going to text Negan. Maybe he would still be up and they could talk things out, if his hunch was true he didn't deserve another chance. Maggie had gone home a few hours ago and he was in his bed, curled up in a blanket. He reached for his phone and typed out, 

R: Can we talk? (10:02pm)

He stared at the screen for a moment, he held his breath and pressed send. He stayed awake for as long as he could waiting for a reply, but had dozed off. 

Rick woke to his phone buzzing, he frantically searched his bed for it, losing it in the blankets after falling asleep. He found it and quickly pressed the home button, it was two in the morning but when he saw the name on the screen he was suddenly very awake.

N: fuck off (2:13am)

His heart sunk at the reply. He blinked at the screem a few times, and checked the time again. Sighing, he got up. If Negan could answer, that means hes awake, and maybe that means that he's home. Rick pulled on a discarded pair of jeans and a white tshirt, he ran his hands through his hair, trying to ignore how fast his heart was beating. 

* * *

Negan groaned and rolled over, he knew it was well passed noon and his head felt like it could explode. That's what he gets for coming home and drinking all of the liquor in his apartment. Nothing a cup of coffee and a doobie won't fix. 

He shuffled his way to the rolling tray and decided he needed two. He rolled up and clicked on the coffee maker, and grabbed a blanket off the back of the couch. He picked up his cup and made his way to the balcony, draping the blanket around his shoulders, which was an instant mistake because the last person to use that blanket was Rick. The smell made him feel anything but comforted and his stomach turned.

It all came back to him, and all he could picture over and over was that fuckers tongue down Ricks throat, and Rick fucking loving it. Negan grimaced, ripping the blanket off himself and throwing it over the railing. He set his head back against his chair and chain smoked until his phone brought him back, vibrating next to him. His first thought was to throw that too, but he didn't feel like going through the hassle of getting a new one. 

He sighed in relief when he saw it was Simon.

S: we going out tonight or you gonna flake on me for Rick? (1:53pm)

Negan read the text over and over, he felt his chest clench at the mention of Rick. Over the passed few months Negan had felt things he never had before, he truly thought Rick was it for him, and he was the last person he thought would hurt him like this. He had to will himself back to anger when tears threatened to spill over.

N: fuck that we're going out (1:55pm)

Negan worked out the details with Simon, they decided to hit up their usual place. The place where Negan usually gets blown in the bathroom or takes someone home. 

Negan got another cup of coffee and saw his jacket from last night on the couch. He looked up at the ceiling and inhaled deeply, closing his eyes when he exhaled. He reached into the left pocket and pulled out the silver key, and walked out to the balcony.

Negan sipped his coffee, and twirled the key in his fingers, flipping it over and examining it. I just wanted to do it right, he thought. Rick had never been with anyone and maybe he wanted as much experience as he could get out of Negan before he moved on to someone else, until he found the person he wanted to be with. When he felt the pain in his chest and the tears welled, he turned it back into anger. "Fuck you!" He yelled, and threw the key as far as he could, his eyes couldn't help follow the glint of silver to a bush across the street. Negan breathed heavily, he hated that he felt like this, and he hated Rick for making him feel this way. 

The last thing Negan felt like doing was going out, to drink at that; he still felt like shit from this morning. The alcohol would at least numb the pain in his chest. 

"What the fuck has you all fucked up?" Simon asked, playfully pushing on him. Negan sat upright, frowning at his friend beside him in the back of the cab. "Fuck you asshole." Negan straightened his leather jacket. "Let's play a little game tonight." Simon turns to Negan, "And what game would that be?" He wiggled his eyebrows knowingly. "Last one to find a bitch to take home pays for the cab." It came out a little more predatory than he he'd intended, which made Simon's eyes go wide. "This got something to do with Rick?" He asked. Negan snarled, "Don't fucking ask me about him, Simon. Fuck Rick. Congratulations Simon you're buying the first fucking round of shots." 

* * *

"Just…just get the fuck out, please and fucking thank you." Negan held his apartment door open as the man he'd taken home from the bar scrambled to find his shirt and collect his things. Negan walked out into the hall to make a gesture for him to hurry up. He honest to God just couldn't fucking look at him anymore. Out of the corner of her eye he saw someone standing at the end of the hall, his eyes focused on a pair of watery blues as the half dressed man left his apartment and attempted to lean in for a kiss. Negan quickly realized what was happening and pushed him away, "Get the fuck off me, what part of get the fuck out did you not fucking understand you stupid mother fucker." The guy, Noah? Alden? He couldn't fucking remember started yelling. "You're the one who invited me inside, asshole!" And slapped him across his face, he knew he deserved it. When he turned back, Rick was gone. 

Negan slammed the door of his apartment shut, rubbing his cheek. He thought bringing someone home would fix everything, Simon just kept repeating "The easiest way to get over someone, is to get under someone else." Simon usually had good advice, he had followed it for years. But this time it only made him feel sick, but he fucking had to do it anyway. 

Not that he could go through with it, his mouth didn't taste like Ricks, his body didn't feel like Ricks, he couldn't get him out of his head. Then Ricks name popped up on his phone and he had to get whatever his fucking name was out of his place.

Negan picked up his phone, he had told Rick to fuck off but what he wanted to say was yes, fucking yes. Now after what Rick had seen there was no way he was going to believe that he didn't fuck that guy. 

Negan rubbed the back of his head, he rolled a joint and decided he was going to have to face Rick. They were going to have to talk, to end whatever they were officially. He couldn't live another day with Rick thinking he had meant nothing to him.


	10. Chapter 10

He looked at his hands, watching as they trembled. Rick grabbed at the wall while struggling to climb the stairs, trying to hold back the tsunami of emotions that wanted to break free, his eyes already filled with tears. 

Rick could see his apartment door, he just had to get in and he would be okay, just had to make it to the door. He fumbled with the knob but as soon as he shut the door behind him he couldn't keep the flood gates closed. He sunk to the floor and sobbed into his hands. 

So many things were running through his mind. Sure, the initial hurt was more than enough, but now he was picturing Negan doing that every time he would go home after being with Rick. Or every time Rick left his place. Why wouldn't he? The thought caused a new well of tears to spill over, with a ragged gasp Rick sobbed. 

Like a cruel slide show, all of the soft moments between them ran through his mind. All of the drives to work, the side glances that Rick caught, the whimpers he gave to Negan when he would rub against him just right. The way Negan was so obnoxious, Rick sniffed and let his head fall back against the door, letting his eyes close. Yeah he even loved that about him too. 

Rick was startled by a knock at the door, "Rick, Rick please open up." He didn't have to look through the peep hole to know who it was. His heart ached, he wanted nothing more than to open the door and hold Negan close, even after what he had just done. Suddenly he could hear the other man moving behind the door. "Rick, I-I know you're behind the door. I could hear you uh, i could hear you crying." By the sound of his voice, Negan was sitting on the floor against the door too, Rick sniffled, not caring to hide himself now. 

He didn't even know what to say, he didn't particularly feel like apologizing now. "Negan, I don't like Jesus. I never have." He just had to let him know that. Negan inhaled deeply, he didn't want to lose his shit. "Not what it looked like to me Rick. Looked like you were two seconds away from pounding his ass." That made Rick cringe, he can only imagine what Negan saw. "I thought you left with that woman Negan. I was angry." Rick played with his fingers, still not ready to apologize. Negan shook his head, "That was Lucille. My best friend, from high school, I told you about her." Rick turned red, he knew he probably assumed wrong but he was way off in his initial assumption. "Yeah. I remember." 

Just then Rick heard someone else speaking. "Can you shut the fuck up?!" Their conversation had woken a neighbour. Rick sighed and stood up, he was going to have to let Negan inside. He opened the door and Negan was standing there, eyes half lidded and leaning slightly to the left. "Are you still drunk?" He asked eyeing Negan. "Don't give me that fucking stink eye Grimes. Can you let me the fuck in now. Please." Rick nodded and walked away from the door. 

"Make some coffee, grab a blanket, we're smoking this doobie on the deck before we do anymore fucking talking." Rick gave Negan a side eyed grimace but proceeded to get two mugs down from the cupboard. Negan grabbed the blanket off the couch, "Meet me outside." He said before going out to the balcony, joint hanging off his lips. 

Rick handed Negan his cup of coffee and then made himself comfortable. Negan looked down at his mug, the smell alone was pleasantly sobering. "Rick I need you to know that I didn't have sex with that guy." Rick perked up, looking square at Negan. "I brought him home from the bar with every intention of fucking him. But I couldn't." He finished. Rick looked away, it still stung. But he was no better. 

Negan lit the joint, inhaled and handed it to Rick. He had gotten used to the sensation, he partook with Negan frequently. He learned it was a nice way to relax after work and lull him into sleep easier at night. "Do you do that a lot? Take people home? And is that why-" Rick exhaled, "Is that why you won't sleep with me?" Rick passed the joint to Negan and he quickly puffed twice. "I used to. Used to. Not since the day I met you." There was a silence for a few moments, Rick was waiting for the last question to be answered. 

"I thought if we had sex, that we would be over. That maybe I would fuck up." Negan shook his head. Rick didn't quite understand what he meant by that, "Why would we be over Negan?" Negan took another long drag and shrugged, "Because I got what I wanted." Ricks mouth went dry, he quickly sipped his coffee. "But I realized that it wasn't like that, with us. You are more than that to me." Rick looked over to Negan, a smile teasing on his lips, "I don't want this shit to come between us. Rick you mean too much to me." Negan reached up and took Ricks face in his hands, looking him in the eyes. "I am so sorry that you had to see him leaving. I'm so sorry I did that to you. Seeing you kiss another man practically killed me Rick. But my reaction was fucking shit, in every possible way." 

Tears welled in Ricks eyes, he never thought Negan would actually apologize, he was expecting this to all go very differently. He felt guilty for not apologizing earlier, he was sorry, he felt horrible for putting Negan through that, when he hadn't done anything in the first place. Negan used his thumbs to wipe Ricks tears, "Negan I'm so sorry, I can't believe I did that, so quickly just because I thought…" Rick trailed off. Negan put the joint out and Rick stood up, he reached out to take Negans hands. Negan looked up at him, "What are you doing?" He looked skeptically up at the blue eyes that stood out even more because of the redness. He's even gorgeous when he cries, Negan thought, tucking that away for later. "Come on, we're going to bed." Rick insisted. Negan took his hands and followed Rick to his bedroom. 

Rick stripped down to his boxers, turning around to see Negan ogling him. He smirked, "We are just sleeping Negan. You need to sleep off the alcohol before we talk anymore. Plus it's..." Rick clicked the home button on his phone. "Shit it's almost 4 in the morning." Negan smirked, "I think I need some help over here, you know, cause the alcohol and all that shit." Rick rolled his eyes and padded over to Negan. 

He went straight for Negans belt, it being the easiest and most accessible garment to remove. Ricks eyes were on his hands but Negans eyes were on Ricks face, he licked his lips. He had never wanted someone so badly, but he knew that sleeping was all that was going to happen tonight. Still… "You're so beautiful Rick." Negans hands slid up Ricks sides and rested on his waist. Ricks eyes flicked up to Negans for a moment before he squatted to remove his jeans and socks for him. Negan was half hard, his boxers not leaving much to the imagination. Negan sighed and smirked, standing back up again. Rick put both of his arms around Negans waist and slowly caressed up his back while removing his t-shirt. Negan clicked his tongue, "Not fair Rick. Can't fucking tease me if I'm not allowed to touch you." 

Rick hugged Negans torso, relishing in the feeling of the man wrapped around him, skin on skin. Rick His smell was naturally appealing to him, a mixture of musk and aftershave. Rick kissed Negans collar bone, "Let's go to bed." He whispered. 

Negan ran a hand up Ricks back and into his hair, and kissed him hard on the mouth. The other hand on the small of his back, wanting to go lower but knowing where that would lead. He wanted to say so much to Rick but now just wasn't the right time, it wouldn't come across as authentic if he said it right after they made up. "What side of the bed do you want?" Negan raised his eyebrows and leaned back, "This is the ultimate relationship test right here." He smirked, gesturing toward the bed. "That what this is?" Rick laughed, "The left. I sleep on the left side." Negan smiled a wide toothy grin, "Good, I'm on the right. See? Perfect match." Rick nodded happily, "Yeah."


	11. Chapter 11

The early afternoon sun poured into the room. Rick squinted, confused for a moment until he blinked the sleep away and realized the weight on his chest was Negan, snoring softly with his arm around Ricks waist. They'd fallen asleep this way and clearly hadn't moved all night. 

Rick studied the lines of Negans face, counting freckles and memorizing their place. The way his otherwise dark hair had started to grey around his ears, Negan was gorgeous and he silently hoped that he'd wake up to the man more often. He didn't ever want to sleep alone again. 

Negan was pressed up so close to him, he could feel his warm breath against his bare chest, and he couldn't help but feel himself grow hard. He was hoping it wouldn't wake the sleeping man. 

Rick had never been here before, had never been the one who had arms around them, or someone to wake up with. He smiled to himself and ran his hand softly through Negans hair. It all seemed so far away now, like that was another life with Shane and Lori. Negan groaned softly below him, opening one eye to gaze up at him. "Mmm. I was hoping last night wasn't a dream." Rick smiled, not expecting anything less than a corny comment. 

Negan sat up, resting on his elbow, running one hand up and down Ricks chest. "Wanna make you breakfast Rick." Negan leaned in and placed a soft kiss on his lips. "I think it's a little late for breakfast" Rick chuckled, "But if you want to make us lunch, well I'd be alright with that, but uh…" Rick but his lower lip nervously, he was still hard under the blanket. "Maybe we can um, shower first? Uhh together?" Rick fumbled. He wasn't sure how to initiate anything like this.

Negan bit his tongue and slid his hand below Ricks waistband, he grabbed Ricks length firmly by the base, "Please don't tell me we have to have a cold fucking shower Rick." He stroked upward, pulling a moan out of him. "N-no. I uh, I had something else in mind." Rick managed to whimper, looking Negan deep in his eyes. He got the insinuation and took his hands off Rick. "You sure that's what you want?" Negans tone was serious, a sudden change from the carefree flirting they'd been doing a second ago. It made Rick gulp, yeah of course he thought. He was more than ready, had been ready. 

"Honestly Rick, I'm fucking terrified. Believe me I have wanted to fuck you since the second I laid eyes on you." Rick frowned, "But?" Negan softened, "Rick it's your first time. What if after me, you want to try with someone else? You couldn't be happy just ever sleeping with one person, and I don't want to get hurt." Rick hasn't considered Negans feelings in all of this, but there was something that he felt Negan didn't understand. "Negan...I dont have some quota to fill. If the one for me happens to he the first boyfriend I ever have well, isn't that a good thing?" He ran his thumb over Negans bottom lip. "All I want is you. Ever. Is that enough?" Negan closed his eyes and smiled. Leaning into Ricks hand now on his cheek. 

In response, he kissed Negan passionately. Swirling their tongues like they wanted to devour one another. Negan pulled away, "I'm gonna make you feel so fucking good baby." He kissed down Ricks neck, causing his breath to hitch in his throat. 

Rick tangled his fingers in Negans hair, the top was long enough to grip. "Negan-" he gasped as the tongue licking his collar bone. "Shower first." He exhaled, pulling his hair just enough to get his attention. His erection was almost painful against the confines of his boxers. Negan groaned, and stood up beside the bed. He held out his hand for Rick to take, and Rick couldn't help but marvel at Negans straining cock. Negan smirked, "Tryin to catch flies Rick?" His smile lopsided. Rick shut his mouth and took Negans hand, following him to the bathroom. 

Rick leaned into the tub to turn on the hot water, he felt a warm body embrace his backside. Negan pulled down Ricks boxers, kissing his shoulder blades as he went. Rick leaned back into him, "Touch me, please." He whispered. "Get in the shower, Rick. I'll give you what you want baby." 

Rick stepped into the tub and let the water stream over his face. He turned around and looked up at Negan, stepping closer and seeking friction against Negans own hard length. "God damn Rick, I am way too fucking lucky." He circled Ricks waist, grabbing the fleshy parts of his ass and pulled him in for deep kiss before getting on his knees. He took Ricks hand and put it on the back of his head, "Fuck my mouth Rick. I know youre a virgin but I know you fucking watch porn, don't be shy. You aren't going to break me." 

Rick was panting, his cock achingly hard. "But what about-" Rick started. "I can guaran- fucking- tee you'll be good to go again in twenty minutes." Negan interrupted. "This is all about you, baby. This is fucking big. But enough fucking talking." And he swallowed Ricks cock down in one fluid motion. 

"Fuck!" Rick gasped, gripping the hair on the back of Negans head. Negan slowed his pace, and Rick took that as his queue to start fucking into his mouth. Negan looked up at him, and Rick tested a small thrust. It made Negan moan around his cock which made Rick throw his head back, trying not to finish so soon. He took a deep breath and looked back down at Negan, who had his signature smirk but it was distorted by Ricks cock filling his mouth. He's so fucking cocky, Rick thought. And thrusted in again, this time pulling out slowly and ramming it a little deeper. Negans face became serious, which made Rick smirk in turn. He set a steady pace, pulling out slowly and quickly hitting the back of Negans throat, he felt a tight pull low in his belly, the vibrations from Negans moans were pulling the orgasm out of him. "Fuck…Negan I- I'm gonna.." Negan gripped Ricks hips in response, giving a small nod to Rick for him to come right down his throat. Rick gripped the back of Negans hair tighter, ragged whimpers on his lips. "Oh- oh my fucking God." He gasped as he pumped the last of his orgasm onto Negans tongue. 

Negan pulled off and kissed each of Ricks hip bones before standing. "You did so good for me, baby. You taste so fucking good" Negan kissed Rick, circling their tongues, Rick could taste his release. He found it oddly erotic, and gripped Negans still hard cock, giving it a few pumps. Negan smiled, "As much as id love for you to make me come right fucking now, I believe we were supposed to be getting clean, for what comes next." Rick blushed, running his hands over his partners chest. "Mmm. You've got a point." He said nervously.

After washing up, Negan was towel drying his hair and could see the nerves radiating off of the shorter man. "Hey Rick-" Negan turned Rick by his shoulders to look at him. "I want you to know exactly what to expect." Rick nodded, embarrassed to meet Negans gaze. "Rick, you are going to go lay down, and I'm going eat that delicious ass." That caused Ricks entire chest to flush, Negan let out a breathy laugh. "Then, I'm going to slick up your fingers and you're going to work me open, and when I'm nice and ready for your cock, I'm gonna ride my fucking cowboy." He finished with a wink. 

A confused expression flashed across Ricks face, "But I thought- I thought, or I guess I assumed you were a top." He half laughed at himself. Negan rolled his eyes but maintained his grin, "I am very fucking versatile baby." Rick visibly relaxed, suddenly very grateful for his first time being with Negan, his chest clenched. He wanted to tell him he loved him. "I-I don't know what I am. I've always been interested, I mean I ordered some things online." He rubbed the back of his head, looking away as he blushed. Negan clicked his tongue, "Well well. Look at you baby, getting yourself ready for me?" Rick nodded, a new wave of red flushing down his chest. 

"Do you have any questions?" Negan raised an eyebrow. "I want to make sure you go into this a hundred fucking percent confident." Rick nodded, "I think I just wanna go with the flow, I uh, rather it be you know, organic?" Rick said with a head tilt. Negan chuckled, "Right. Organic." He said, leaning in to kiss his lips. Negan took Ricks hands and led him to the bedroom. 

Rick climbed onto the bed, resting his head on the pillows. Negan drank in the body laying before him, the pale skin tinted with blush. He'd never taken the time to truly admire someone in this way, the muscled thighs and his hard stomach, and those pink nipples surrounded by fleshy pectorals. He wanted to devour everything about Rick right there, but reeled himself in for Ricks sake. 

Negan climbed the bed and kissed up Ricks body, taking care to cover every inch of his stomach and chest. Rick couldn't help but moan as Negan took a nipple in his mouth, biting it gently and swirling his tongue around it to soothe. The pain and pleasure was a direct line to his cock, Negan was right, he was ready to go again. Negan kissed his lips gently before trailing kisses back down his body. He positioned himself between Ricks legs, kissing and lapping at the insides of his thick thighs. "You're gorgeous Rick. So fucking perfect." Rick gasped as Negan placed a kiss on his perinium, his legs trembling slightly. 

Negan used the tip of his tongue to trace a circle around his hole, letting Rick get used to the sensation. He could tell that he was enjoying it purely based on the noises coming from him. He flattened his tongue and lapped at the ring of muscle, "Holy fuck, Negan." Rick reached up behind him to grip the headboard. Negan began fucking into him with his tongue, and Rick didn't think he was going to be able to contain his release. "N-Negan, as much as I hate to tell you to stop, I really want to fuck you." Negan paused, looking up at Rick, "But you taste so fucking good baby." Rick exhaled a sharp breath, Negan got up on his knees, "You keep the lube in there?" He gestured to the side table drawer. Rick nodded, "Among other things." He drawled, eyes half lidded. 

Negan opened the drawer to see a handful of dildos, lube and handcuffs. He picked up the cuffs and raised an eyebrow, "Rick Grimes, didn't think you had it in you." He put them back in a drawer for another day. "Yeah well there is a lot you don't know about me yet." He said confidently. Negan got on the bed, moving to straddle Rick, sitting on his lap. Rick lifted his hips seeking friction against Negans stiff cock, he moaned at the contact. 

Negan picked up Ricks hand and sucked on three fingers, he bit his lip at the sensation. Wishing his tongue was stroking somewhere else. Rick took his hand back and reached under Negan, finding his entrance. He had done years of research leading up to this moment, he was fairly confident he knew what to do to ensure Negan enjoyed it. 

"Fucking, fucking, fuck Rick." Negan was fuckin down onto three of Ricks fingers now, Rick couldn't wait to feel Negan fucking down onto his painfully hard cock. Negan pulled off of Ricks fingers, "I'm so fucking ready for your cock baby." Taking Ricks length in his fist, he gave it a few strokes. "Looks like you're so ready for my ass." Rick nodded. "Please Negan, please I want to be inside you." He grabbed Negan by the neck with one hand, and licked into his mouth, showing Negan how much he needed it. 

Negan sunk down slowly after a generous amount a lube, taking Ricks entire length. "You're so fucking thick baby, feels so fucking good inside me." Rick couldn't speak, he held onto Negans hips. "Fuck Rick, you gotta breathe." Negan laughed. Rick inhaled deeply and exhaled shakily. "I'm going to move now is that okay?" Rick answered with a quick nod. "Not gonna last long-" he began. But Negan had started rocking back and forth in his lap. Rick threw his head back, he had imagined this a million times but his thoughts didn't compare to the real thing. 

He took Negans cock in his fist and began pumping the way he had mastered on himself. Negan moaned above him which brought him closer to the edge. Negan was beautiful like this, eyes shining amber honey, the sweat across his chest illuminating his skin. He had to remember to breathe again. 

"M'not going to last long if you keep jerking me like that baby." Negan breathed out. He climbed closer and closer to his own orgasm, he instinctively fucked down harder onto Rick while quickening his pace. The noises Rick made, and the flush of his cheeks are what brought Negan over the edge, knowing the spasm of his release would bring Rick right over with him. Rick raised Negans hips and fucked up into him hard, filling Negan with his hot release, shouting Negans name until the last of it was milked from him. 

Negan collapsed beside Rick, "Holy fucking shit Rick. You surprised the hell out of me." He said with a toothy grin. Rick was still trying to catch his breath. "That was- that was intense." He huffed. Negan chuckled, "Yeah. Wait til it's the other way around." Rick thought for a second, "Yeah, yeah I'd like to do that." Negan winked, "Next time." 

"Here," Negan grabbed his shirt off the floor and started cleaning Rick up. "Let me get that for you baby." Rick laughed, "I have a facecloth." Negan threw his soiled shirt into Ricks hamper, "I'll just wear one of yours." He shrugged. 

Negan climbed back up against Rick, wrapping his body around him and breathing in the scent of his curly hair. "So Rick, how was your first time?" He half joked into Ricks ear. "Perfect. It was perfect." Rick kissed the back of Negans hand and held it close to him. "What do you want to do now Grimes? What would post coital Rick like to do now on a Sunday afternoon?" Rick turned around in Negans arms so they were nose to nose. "Hmmm. He would like his boyfriend to make him the lunch he promised." He kissed the sharp line of Negans jaw. "Mmm. Boyfriend huh? Yeah. Your boyfriend can make you lunch."


	12. Chapter 12

"So it's serious then?" Carol raised an eyebrow in speculation. "Fu- hell yeah it's serious." Negan leaned back in the chair and draped an arm across Ricks shoulders. "Tell her Rick." Rick rolled his eyes, "Yeah, I know it's hard to believe. But yeah it's serious." He reddend, it was hard to look Carol in the eye, even though they werent doing anything wrong. Rick didn't see the need to have to tell Carol so formally about their relationship, he made it sound like they were doing something wrong. 

Carols grin widened as Rick flushed deeper. "Congratulations are in order then. I mean I shouldn't have to tell you what not to do here in the office, I'm pretty sure you can figure that out for yourselves." Negan pouted and turned to Rick, "Lunch time was going to be so much fun." Rick shook his head in apology to Carol. "We wouldn't dream of it Carol. We will stay profe- I mean I will stay professional. I'm not sure he was to begin with." Rick gestured toward Negan. "Hey I'm professional!" Both Carol and Rick turned to look at him. "Fuck you both." Negan pouted.

"You know we didn't have to tell her. Co workers don't have to disclose a relationship." Rick said, grabbing Negans hand and kissing the back of it. Negan nodded, "And if you get promoted? If Carol didn't know about us then we wouldn't be allowed to be together, one of us would have to leave." Negan took Ricks jaw in one hand, lifting his head for their lips to meet in a soft kiss. Rick melted into it, "I have to go back to my office, Negan. Carol just finished telling us-" He was cut off by Negans tongue forcing its way into his mouth and a hand caressing from his chest, down his torso. "I'll come get you at lunch." Negan said with a wink, breaking off the kiss and leaving Rick standing in the hallway breathless. 

Rick walked away from Negan feeling flustered. His cheeks he knew were a bright shade of pink. He opened his office door to find Maggie reclined in his chair with her feet up on his desk. "Good morning, Rick." She said with a knowing smile. "Mornin' Maggie." He said with a smirk. He couldn't help it, he had been smiling since he and Negan made up. 

"I couldn't get ahold of you yesterday, I took that as a good sign." Rick nodded, "Yeah, things are really good Maggie. We were uh, a little busy, for most of the day." He couldn't help but blush. Maggie slapped the table, "I knew it! That's why you look so different this morning. You finally did it!" Ricks blush deepened, he didn't feel different today. Maybe a little bit more grown up, but he just felt happy. Happier than he had ever been. 

"I'm no different Maggie, just happy things are good now. Happy to be where I am." Maggie put her hands over Ricks on the table. "I'm sorry for meddling. I told Jesus that it was all a big misunderstanding, that you were in the middle of figuring out what you and Negan were, and that you were really drunk and made some not so great choices." Rick cringed at the memory of this passed weekend. "He understands Rick, he won't make it weird." Rick looked doubtfully up at Maggie, "You really think Negan won't make it weird?" She laughed, "Oh he will. But Jesus won't instigate it." He nodded. "Go to work," Rick laughed, getting up from his chair. "I appreciate you talking to him for me. I'll see you later." 

Maggie left and Rick took his seat behind his lap top. The morning went by relatively quickly, Monday morning's were always busy. Ricks phone vibrated on his desk, he looked over at the screen and there was a message from Negan.

N: Want to grab something from Glenn and eat out in the car? (11:47am) 

R: We don't have to avoid our co workers. Maggie had a talk with Jesus and we are just gonna forget the whole thing. (11:48am)

N: I wanna make you cum Rick it has nothing to do with our co workers. (11:48am)

R: Oh. (11:49am) 

N: Carol said we couldn't fuck in the office but she didn't say anything about blow jobs in the car (11:50am)

R: You're impossible. (11:51am)

N: You fucking love it. (11:51am)

Rick pocketed his phone, his cheeks were already flushed. A year ago if he told himself where he would be and what he would be doing- who he would be doing, he never would have believed it. He sat back in his chair and replayed yesterday's events in his head. The day had been perfect, he had woken up beside the person he loved most in the world. 

Negan made him an amazing stir fry for lunch, with what he could find out of Ricks fridge. It turned out delicious despite his lack of ingredients. Then came round two, then they ordered pizza, and then came round three. 

Rick was pulled from his thoughts when his phone rang. He took it out of his pocket and he could feel the flush melting away as a dread came over him. Mom flashed across the screen, and with that familiar fear of disappointing her, he answered.

"Hi Ricky! How is your new job going?" She sounded unusually pleasant "Its uh, it's going fine Mom." He always kept her at an arm's length. It was his dad who always made the off handed comments about his "lifestyle choices" but his mother never defended him either. He ended up feeling like an outcast in his own house. "Honey, I'm calling because, well it's your father's fiftieth birthday at the end of the month." Shit. He hadn't realized but September creeped up fast. Although not surprising considering the whirl wind summer he had with Negan. "I've been doing a lot of thinking Ricky. I've had some long talks with Jeffrey, and I'd like to think that I've become more open minded to your way of life." Rick cringed inward, he knew what was coming. "Well Ricky we would love it if you came down for the weekend of his party." A knot twisted in his gut, "Mom…" Rick started but was quickly interrupted. "I know things haven't always been… easy Ricky but I love you, son. I do, no matter what or who you are. I want to be there for you, and I'm so sorry honey that I wasn't before." He melted a little. He rubbed the tears from his eyes, he didn't think Jeff cared all that much, but he had obviously gotten somewhere with Mom. "…And Dad?" Rick asked. His mother paused, then sighed. "He will come around dear. I know he loves you more than anything." Rick sniffled. "I'll come on one condition." He cleared his throat, if his mom was going to accept him, she was going to have to accept Negan too. "Alright honey, what is it?" Rick paused, he was just going to have to come out with it. "My uh, boyfriend. He would be coming with me." He pinched the bridge of his nose, anticipating her taking back everything she just said. "Of course Ricky! Oh I'm so excited to meet him. What's his name?" Rick was shocked as his mother's response, before he could answer his office door opened, and Negan was leaning against the door frame. 

"Negan." Rick said, returning the ear to ear smile on his boyfriends face. "His name is Negan."


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I updated this chapter since it's original posting date. I felt like it was lacking in a lot of areas and explanation. I'm much happier with it now, I hope you will give it a re read.

He gasped for air, he didnt think he could ever get tired of this feeling.  
Theyd parked down by a river, not far from their office, and Negan's lips were currently wrapped around Rick's hard length, the vibrations of Negans moans were like electricity coursing onto his belly; he was close. Rick combed his fingers through Negans hair and gently pulled. "Negan…I'm close- I'm…" he always wanted to give Negan the option to pull back, he thought maybe it was disrespectful to assume he was going to swallow. But all he did was smirk, and began tonguing swirls on the underside of Rick's cock, which pushed him immediately over the edge. 

Negan pulled Rick's boxers back over his softening cock, and looked at the clock on the dashboard. "Look at that Rick, you're up to three minutes." He winked and reached for the passenger console for a napkin for his mouth.

Rick zipped up his pants, "Guess we will just have to keep practicing then, huh?" Rick knew Negan was just razzing him but he couldnt help but feel embarrassed that he's unable to last very long. He blames it on repression. 

"I love that I can do that to you, Rick." Negan said with sincerity. 

"You love that?" Rick poked back. He didnt think Negan meant to say it like that anyway. 

Negan turned to face Rick in his seat, "Yeah. I fucking love that about you. Is that a problem?" He was a little bit more serious now. Negan was pretty sure he knew how Rick felt, they just hadn't said the words yet.

Rick was caught off guard, he wasnt expecting to have this conversation today. He didnt feel that right after a blow job was the right time to say it either. He wanted it to mean something. He looked into Negans eyes and shook his head, "No, no Negan that's not a problem. At all. Thank you." 

Negan broke the gaze and nodded. It clearly wasn't what he wanted to hear, but he knew that it's not something he would want to hear if Rick didn't mean it. He started the car to head back to the office, he got his protein shot for the day and was ready to finish off the afternoon so he could take Rick home. "Hey Rick?" He broke the tension that had begun filling the space between them. "I'd like to make you dinner tonight, if you'd join me?" He asked, lightening the mood. 

"Sounds great, although you and I both know that's where I was gonna end up anyway." Rick smiled, and his blue eyes sparkled and it was hard for Negan not to pour his heart out right there. But it was important to him that Rick say it first, he wanted to be sure that's what Rick wanted.  
  
  


* * *

Negan was in the kitchen making baked mac and cheese in nothing but a pair of tight silky black boxers. Rick admired the way his back rippled while he did various things, grating cheese, stirring the pot. He had a front row seat to the sexiest part of his lovers body and he was taking it all in. When Negan turned and saw the half lidded look on Rick's face, he shook his hips for him.

If they hadn't just spent an hour in bed together, Rick probably would have bent him over right there in the kitchen. He made a mental note for later. "So, that call with my mom, it was about more than what I've been doing since the move." 

Negan turned around, "Doing as in fucking the god damn shit out of me?" He laughed. The look on Rick's face suggested it was a little more complicated. "Alright then, what was it about?" He turned back to the stove. 

"Well my mom sort of, apologized to me. About everything. I guess she's been talking with my brother and I think maybe me being away has sort of, enlightened her?" Rick started. He realized maybe Negan would be uncomfortable going to meet his parents considering they aren't the most accepting people, well his dad isn't anyway, also it's a huge step for their new relationship, meeting the parents. "She's been working on herself and I do miss her. A simple sorry doesn't change what happened but I dont know. I'd like to let them make the effort."

Negan dropped the spoon and turned around fully to face Rick. "If she wants a chance Rick, I think you should give it to her. Hell I wish my parents would do the same every damn day." Rick nodded, that wasn't a conversation to get into right now, he knew. But one day maybe they'd come around, Rick would help him.

"She invited us down for a weekend coming up. It's my dad's fiftieth birthday, and it's kind of a big thing in my family." Rick sipped the glass of water in front of him, queuing Negan that it was his turn to respond. 

"And you want me, to meet your parents?" Negan asked, making sure he heard right. He had never met anyones parents before, and to be honest the idea terrified him. 

Rick nodded, "Yes. I'd love for you to meet my parents, you're important to me." He picked up his water again, pretending to be busy with it. 

Negan nodded, "I guess we're going Georgia." That seemed to surprise Rick, because he jumped off his bar stool threw his arms around him. Negan looked down, admiring the brown disheveled curls that had grown out since they met. He admired the purple veins around his eyes that made the blue shine even brighter. He leaned down took Rick's mouth in his, and returned the embrace.  
  
  


* * *

"You really like listening to this shit Rick?" Negan opened one eye while rubbing his hands together, it was so early and chilly for September. He watched his country boyfriend snap his fingers along to some twang that was probably considered popular when his grandfather was a child. Rick just smiled and sang along for a minute before finding another station.

Negan was the driver of course, Rick took on the responsibility of being the navigator. "Coffee first, we stayed up way too late last night." Negan yawned.

"That, and it's only five in the morning." Rick stretched his arms back and tightened the strings on his hoodie. 

"Hey, no falling asleep, if I can't nap, you can't either. You're the one who wanted to be there in the afternoon." Negan shoved Rick's shoulder playfully. Rick nodded in agreement, clearly anxious from the reminder of their destination.

They stopped at a nearby Starbucks and a gas station to fill up for their trip. Rick was excited, he had never been on a road trip with a significant other or even friends. When he moved out if Georgia, he went alone. He had his spotify playlist ready for the eight ish hour ride, and bought a bunch of snacks at the gas station. Negan bought a few packs of cigarettes and a few packs of gum, which Rick assumed he would need while they were at his parents house. "You're gonna smoke every single one of those on the drive today, aren't you?" Rick joked. 

"You're damn right I am Rick. I don't want to smoke while I'm at your parents house, well not much." Negan smirked. "Shit! Speaking of," Negan dug around the inside pocket of his leather jacket. "Here, put these under your seat." 

Rick took a zip lock bag with what had to be about twenty prerolled joints. "Did you need so many?" Rick asked, stuffing them under his seat. 

"We, Rick. I've been going through a ton of that shit since I met you." He said with a shit eating grin. He put the car in drive and they headed onto the highway. 

Rick just rolled his eyes, he couldn't argue because he wasnt wrong. But he didn't really want to give him the satisfaction. 

They decided they weren't going to stop, that they could go to a drive through for lunch and a bathroom break. That should put them getting there around two in the afternoon. 

* * *

"We're about three hours out now." Rick shifted in his seat. Negan looked over and saw how increasingly uncomfortable he was. Negan was shitting his pants, but at the same time he didn't have the pressure of it being his own parents approval. Things go to shit here and he can go home, close to unscathed. Sure yeah it would hurt for his boyfriends parents not to like him but he'd get over it.

"So my dad," Rick took a deep breath. "He probably wont say much. My mom told me last night on the phone that she's warned him to keep his mouth shut." Rick gulped. "He can be hard to get along with, he doesn't make it easy. He had no problem with using the 'f' word daily, and I don't mean fuck." 

Negan shifted in his seat. "I gotta thick skin baby. We'll be okay. We have your mom on our side that's all that matters." Negan tried to sound confident but inside he was scared shitless. His own parents had no problem calling him a fag either.

"So I'm guessing Shane and Lori will be there? You said they were like family." Negan asked, trying to shift the conversation elsewhere. 

"Yeah, our parents are all friends so they'll probably be there. Especially if they know I'm going to be there." He rubbed his palms into his eyes, clearly stressed even thinking about it.

"So what if we could create an embarrassing scenario for your friends?" Negan said smirking. "Maybe a little fucking payback." Rick gave him a devious look, it wasnt a no. "They don't know who I am, why don't we make Lori think shes got a shot, before the big reveal. And bam, the leather clad smooth talker is already getting fucked by little ol' Ricky here. Sorry Lori, you lose. Maybe kiss with some tongue, really freak out your buddy Shane." Negan raised his eyebrows waiting for a response. He didn't think Rick would do something that brazen, but it sure would be funny to see the look on their faces.

"Yeah. Yeah that sounds… like a great idea." Rick answered. It was the first time Negan saw him smile since they got on the road. 

Negan's hot. This was no secret to anyone, even Maggie admitted to eyeing him when she first had started working in the office. It wouldn't be hard to trick Lori into falling all over him. There weren't many guys, if any, like Negan in their small Georgia town, not that he remembers. "Let's do it." Rick said excitedly. 

"Also, move your arm." Rick pointed to Negan's right arm that was on the steering wheel. Negan gave him a strange look but switched to driving with his left hand. Rick unbuckled his seat belt and worked open Negans zipper and licked his lips. "I'm not sure when I'm going to get to do this once we're there."

"You wont catch me arguing." Negan said in a higher voice than usual, shocked at Rick's sudden tenacity.

"Good, I've always wanted to do this. Don't kill us please." Rick laughed.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've updated chapter 13, I wasn't happy with it. I recommend going back and re reading it, as I've added quite a bit.

"Okay, this is the street here." Rick pointed just ahead. He felt as though his internal organs were flip flopping. He looked over at Negan who had beads of sweat above his eyebrows. Rick reached out and laced their free hands together. "It's going to be great, because no matter what happens we still come away with each other." 

Negan smiled, "Not gonna toss me if your mama doesn't approve?" He squeezed Rick's hand. 

Rick shook his head. "Impossible because she's gonna love you." And he kissed each of Negan's knuckles. 

His heart clenched in his chest. He didn't understand why he had been afraid all those years of a relationship. Of any kind of commitment. This felt better than anything, and even though he was nervous as fuck, it didn't matter because he would still have his Rick. 

They pulled into the driveway slowly before putting the car in park. Neither of them moved or said anything for at least two minutes. Rick took a deep breath, "Shall we?" He asked. 

"Yeah, let's get our asses in there. Rip it off like a shitty old bandaid." Negan said. He looked Rick in the eyes, fear was written all over his face. He lifted his hand to cup Rick's jaw and leaned in to kiss him softly. "We have each other." 

Rick nodded and moved to get out of the car and caught the blind from the picture window swaying. He doesn't know who that was but they definitely saw them kiss. Rip it off like a bandaid quite literally. 

Between the two of them they just had a book bag and a small duffle bag. They each took a one and with an exchange of looks decided to keep the bag of joints in the car. Rick took Negan's hand and they made their way to the front door. 

Before he had the chance to knock, Rick's mom opened the door and threw her arms around Rick's neck in a bear hug, almost throwing him off balance. Negan thought Rick was short, but his mom was at least a foot shorter than him. 

"Oh Ricky! You look so grown up!" She said leaning back, tears pricking in the corners of her eyes. She smoothed her hands over his face and through his hair. "I love you so much honey. I've missed you like crazy." And she squished herself into him again. 

"I missed you too mom." Rick looked up and Negan and smiled. Obviously this was a good sign. 

Rick's mom let go of her now disheveled son, and looked up at Negan with a wide stretched smile. "And you must be Negan!" She said, throwing her arms open for a hug, catching him off guard. 

He dropped the duffle bag and got the same bear hug Rick was welcomed with. He felt his cheeks redden, "It's nice to meet you Mrs. Grimes. I can see where Rick gets his good looks." Negan said, winking at Rick.

"Call me Betty dear, not ma'am, or Mrs. Grimes, call me Betty, or Mom if that's easier. Either will do love." She reached up and pinched his cheeks. "I knew whoever Ricky chose would be handsome, but you are quite the looker aren't you?" She said straightening his jacket for him. 

Negan's blush deepened, "Thanks mom." He couldn't contain his smile. "You're just a little Georgia peach aren't you? But hell, we all know Rick is the good looking one, I'm the rugged 'needs work' type." 

Betty laughed, "You make yourself sound like one of my husbands old cars." She said as she ushered them inside. 

Negan glanced at Rick. He was also a fan of old cars, he used to work on them with his own dad before shit went south. He could definitely use that as an edge to get in good with Rick's dad. 

"I'm so glad you boys were able to take friday off to drive down. Go take Negan into your old room to settle in." She raised an eyebrow at them, "I trust you two will conduct yourselves with maturity while staying here." She said, eyeing the two of them. "I'm going to go start dinner! I'm sure you'd appreciate some down time after the long drive." She said to immediately lighten the mood. "Oh! And honey, Jeff wont be here until tomorrow morning, he sends his love and congratulations." She left them with a wink. 

Rick's face burned, he looked up at Negan who was beaming at him. "I like your mom, shes a firecracker." 

"Come on, I'll show you my old room." Rick rubbed the back of his neck. So far he felt it was going okay, a little embarrassment wouldn't ruin his day. He opened the door, and it surprised him to see it untouched. He swore thenday he moved out his dad would have turned it into some sort of work out room or man cave. But everything seemed to be exactly where he'd left it. 

Negan put down his bag and began to scan the room. Scanning over the old posters of athletes and the piles of comic books. He walked over to an old cork board with photos pinned to it, eyeing the ones he presumed were Lori and Shane. "Wow, look how fucking young you are here. You're practically a baby." Negan laughed out.

"That was only like five years ago. I was cute." Rick crossed his arms. 

"You were god damn adorable then, and you're sexy as fuck now." Negan grabbed Rick by the waist and pulled him into his chest. He pulled the hair on the back of his head. "I like that you are growing out your hair." Negan tilted Rick's head to the side and kissed along his jawline causing a small breathy moan to escape from Rick's lips. "I can't wait to be inside you Rick, if you want that." He whispered against his jugular, still peppering kisses along his neck.

Rick tried to contain his heavy breathing, "Yeah, I do want that." He managed to whisper. It was something he had wanted from the start, they'd just gotten so caught up in sex and how good it felt between them, they hadn't experimented much. It was always so needy and animalistic. He of course had practised with toys, he was no stranger to Negan's fingers either. He reached his hands up to Negan's face and held it in front of him. "Not right now though, you heard my mom." And he kissed the tip of his nose. "At least wait until they're in bed." He winked.

* * *

Their legs laid tangled on the bed while Rick held his phone up so they could watch fail videos online. It was something they had started to do together when just relaxing, usually after getting stoned. "Hard to believe your mom didn't accept you right out of the gate. She seems awesome." Negan said.

"She just didn't talk to me anymore. Was like I didn't exist to her." He angled his head to look at Negan. "My dad was mostly the same, except he'd throw in a snarky comment here and there. When he'd see a feminine man on television he had no qualms with calling them fags and queers." Rick's face twisted replaying a memory.

"He was telling you what he thought without saying it directly to you." Negan wrapped his arms around Rick's waist and held him close. Rick nodded and relaxed into the warmth of his lovers arms.

There was a knock at the bedroom door, and Negan moved quickly to untangle himself from Rick, but he put his hand out for Negan to stop. "Come in." Rick called out. 

Betty opened the door with a smile to let them know dinner was almost ready and that Rick's dad was going to be home from work soon. Negan took that a warning to be prepared for what was about to go down. Negan got up and straightened out his clothes. "What's your dad's name?" He asked.

"It's actually Richard. I'm named after him." Rick said lowly, "Probably why he sees me as a such a huge disappointment." Rick ran his hands through his hair trying to tame his curls. "You ready baby?" Rick looked up and stroked Negans cheek. 

"You callin' me baby now?" Negan relaxed into Rick's hand. 

Rick shrugged, "You said it earlier. I liked it."

"You fucking got me there Rick. Wasn't sure you even noticed." Negan said and leaned down to kiss Rick before they went downstairs to tame the beast. Negan dug in his bag and pulled out a bottle of premium whisky. 

"How did you know my dad liked whisky?" Rick asked, shocked he didn't see Negan pack it. 

"I just had a feelin'." He replied with a grin. The apple never falls too far from the tree.

* * *

Rick was setting the table under Betty's orders and Negan was tossing the salad. Negan couldn't pass up the opportunity to gesture toward the salad he was tossing, stick out his tongue and wink at Rick. The dirty exchange was interrupted by the front door opening and a very tall man walked through. He had curls above his ears and even paler blue eyes than Rick. This had to be Richard. 

The two of them watched silently as Betty took his coat and kissed his cheek, but it could have been a whisper. When he had his boots off he walked into the kitchen and looked at them. 

"Hi Dad." Rick said, almost inaudible. He cleared his throat and stood a little taller. "Dad, this is Negan." Richard's eyes landed on Negans, and he stuck out his hand to for him to take. "Negan. That's an interesting name."

Negan grasped his hand enthusiastically, "My mom is an interesting gal. It's nice to meet you, sir." Rick admired his confidence, he wasn't showing an ounce of weakness. 

"You look like a whisky man. Brought a bottle from my own reserve." Negan took out three glasses and poured a finger each. Richard didn't say much, just sat in his chair at the table, eyeing Negan, unsure what his angle was.

Rick took a quick drink of the whisky, welcoming the burn. The anxiety was in full force and he was about five minutes away from throwing up his insides. He was hoping the alcohol would numb some part of that. 

Rick and Negan watched eagerly as Richard gulped down the whisky in one gulp. "That's mighty fine whisky, son." He grunted out. 

Negan beamed, "Consider it an early birthday gift." He said. Rick was speechless. Negan was ready to pull out his next trick to get Richard to like him and make this trip a hell of a lot easier on Rick. "A little birdie told me you were into old cars, you have somethin' in that garage out there? I restored a '67 Chevrolet Impala with my old man when I was a teen. Gorgeous car." 

Richard suddenly perked up, his eyes seemed to shine brighter. "I've got a '65 Chevrolet Bel Air out there I'm restoring. Been restoring for years. After dinner I'll take you out an show you." 

Rick watched with utter bemusement at his father; the man who didn't say two words to him ever, have an animated conversation with the man he loved. All of it seemed so backward to him, but he felt almost giddy. He knew that the rest of the trip would go off without a hitch, the hardest part was over. He knew his dad wouldnt be going to a pride parade anytime soon but this was a really good start.


	15. Chapter 15

Betty was plating dinner, and although the initial introduction went well, Rick feels his fathers eyes shifting from Negan and back to him with a strange look on his face, as if he's trying to understand how two men could be together. To be fair, Rick is pretty sure that his dad has always looked at him this way. 

Negan clears his throat, breaking the silence. "Rick has been doing amazing at work, hell I've been there for years and he's surpassed me." Rick looked down shyly, he wasn't used to anyone singing his praises, and he appreciated Negan filling the awkward silences. 

"Wouldn't be surprised if they gave him a promotion in the new year." Negan smiled, proud of his smart ass fuck boyfriend. He had an urge to palm the side of Rick's face but thought that might be too much for his parents, and figured Richard's head might explode. 

Rick blushed at the praise, he instinctively reached out to put his hand on the back of Negans neck, rubbing his thumb back and forth. "Thanks babe." He chided. 

He watched Negan look down at his fingers and felt him tense his back. Rick had forgotten himself and looked over to see his fathers face turn beet red. He didn't know if it was anger or embarrassment but Rick realized he had completely forgotten himself. Over the passed few months he had become comfortable with showing affection toward Negan, it was hard for him to keep his hands to himself when he was around. 

Rick made a quick decision to keep his hand exactly where it was. He loved Negan, and he loved his new life with him and if his parents wanted to accept him, this was part of their acceptance too. Either way he would be happy because at the end of the day it was going to be Negan and him.

When Rick kept tracing shapes on the back of his neck in spite of Rchards reaction, Negan realized Rick's intention and he relaxed into the touch. Damn Rick had bigger balls than he thought, and it wasn't like they were sucking face. 

Betty chose that wonderful moment to bring dinner into the dining room. She obviously sensed the tension, looking back and forth at her husband and Rick and his boyfriend. She set down the bowl of salad and plate of chicken legs and claped. "Let's eat!" She said cheerfully. Clapping her husband on the back, a little harder than she had initially intended, but it got her point across. It wasn't like they were making out, let him be.

Rick opened the wine and poured everyone a glass. The rest of dinner went fairly smooth, Negan and Richard exchanged garage stories and things seemed to be relatively normal. 

When everyone had finished eating, Negan patted his stomach and stood up collecting everyone's plates. "That was delicious Mamma Betty, thank you. No one cooks better than a mom." He flashes a smile and kisses her on the cheek. Betty insists on doing the dishes but Negan says he wont take no for an answer. He takes everything to the kitchen, leaving Rick alone with his parents for a moment. They haven't been able to talk without Negan there and after the initial meet and greet, he's sure they're antsy to chat, plus he would like to know what they think of him so far. 

Rick is quiet, he hears the clinking dishes and the water running in the kitchen so he knows Negan can't hear him now. He sighs, picking at the skin on his fingers. "So. That's my um- that's Negan." Rick's cheeks are burning, now that hes alone with them he doesn't feel so brave and his leg is bouncing uncontrollably under the table. He looked at the direction of the kitchen longingly.

"Rick," Betty says, encouraging him to make eye contact. He looks up at his mom, avoiding his fathers gaze. "Negan seems wonderful. Very respectful and it's clear that you two are smitten with each other." Betty looks up at Richard lovingly. "Don't you have anything to say dear?" She nudges Richard under the table, and Rick rolls his eyes. 

"Thanks mom. That means a lot to me. He's, just, _everything_. And for the first time in my life things just make sense." Rick looks to his dad, it wasn't that he was trying to convince him. He was just voicing the impact Negan has had on him for the first time. "I love him, a lot." He said quieter, just incase Negan was listening in. 

"Oh honey!" Betty wiped a tear from the corner of her eye and gets up to hug Rick. "I'm so proud of you." She squeezed around his neck, standing on her toes. 

Rick felt warmth spread through his chest, he doesn't remember the last time someone told him they were proud of him. "Thanks mom." He said holding back tears from spilling over, he's scared once he started, he wouldn't stop. The anxiety that had crippled him through the weeks leading up to this trip had finally subsided. He knew his dad would never get to where his mom had, hell his dad wasn't ever good at conveying emotion, but it was nice to have someone on his team. 

Richard stayed sitting, he was always a stone faced man who was impossible to read. "Rick, son." Richard began. Rick's eyes snapped up to his dad's. "Son, I am glad that you're happy. It's all I've ever wanted for you." 

Richard used to think that the only way Rick was going to be happy is if he followed the path he himself thought was best. It turns out Rick is strong without all of those things. 

Rick was speechless. He wasn't expecting any sort of acknowledgement from his father, let alone something positive. Rick nodded, embarrassed to meet his dads gaze. "I'm very happy." He smiled.

Richard nodded to him and stood, "When your friend is done with the dishes, send him out in the garage. That's where I'll be." He kissed Betty on the cheek, "Dinner was great, hun." He said before walking out to the back porch. 

Well it was a start. It was worlds different from just six months ago when he didn't even feel welcome, and like they couldn't wait to be rid of him. Rick knows he easily forgives but it's because he wants to be truly happy. 

Betty cleans up the wine bottles and settles in the den with her knitting. Rick heads to the kitchen where Negan is drying up the last couple of dishes. He walks up quietly behind him and wraps his arms around his waist. He feels Negan shiver under him and he holds him closer.

"How'd that go?" Negan asked, putting the dishes down. He turned around so he could hold Rick back. "I didn't hear any yelling." He smirked. 

Rick sighed, and looked up at Negan's hazel eyes. A hint of desperation there, Rick smiled up at him. "They really like you, my mom may have even used the word wonderful." He said, reaching a hand up to stroke his knuckles against his coarse beard. 

Negan smiled, the tension draining from his jaw that he realized he'd been clenching waiting for Rick to talk to his parents. He's relieved, it's going a lot better than he thought it would. Rick had made it sound like they would be stoned to death upon arrival. Compared to his parents this was a dream. 

"Mom said she could tell I was smitten with you, that we were with each other." He stroked his fingers through Negans hair, still looking up and smiling at him. 

Negan leaned in and kissed Rick softly on his lips. He tastes like wine and all he wants is to pick him up bridal style and take him to the bedroom. "Well, they arent fucking blind Rick." He says moving down to his throat, peppering soft kisses along his Adam's apple. 

"Negan?" Rick asks, his breathing getting heavier, and his heart feels like its skipping a beat. 

"Mmmm?" Negan replied, licking at the juncture between Rick's shoulder and Neck. He loved taking Rick apart like this, even if it couldn't necessarily go anywhere right at this moment. 

"Negan I love you." Rick grasps onto Negan even tighter, and Negan stops kissing him. 

Negan snakes an arm up the back of Rick's head and pulls him back gently by his hair, forcing the eye contact Rick is desperately trying to avoid. "Baby," he says with a toothy grin meeting all the way to his eyes, "I love you too. Have for a while." And he is on Rick's lips in an instant, his tongue quickly finding entrance and deepening the kiss. 

It was like both of them always knew anyway. Rick knew the moment he laid eyes on Negan that he was going to change his life. He finally felt whole. 

Rick let a small moan escape, but his eyes quickly fly open. Suddenly aware his mother is just down the hall. He pulls back with eyes half lidded, Negans fingers still threaded through his hair. "My mom is in the living room." He whispers.

Negan tilts his head toward the stairs but Rick shakes his head. "My dad wants you to meet him in the garage when you're done with the dishes." 

Negan frowns playfully, "He can't wait until I'm _done_ fucking his son into the mattress?" He runs his hands down Rick's chest eliciting a shiver. He watches Rick turn every shade of red, he's still amazing he can get that kind of reaction. 

"You can do that tonight, but we have to be quiet. My parents room is down the hall, although I don't think they can hear much passed dad's sleep apnea machine." That makes Rick and Negan both double over with laughter. 

"Bad for your dad, good for me." Negan winks. "But I better get out to your dad so I can come back in here and fucking ravish you." He pulls Rick close for a deep kiss, and heads out to the garage through the back porch. 

Rick leans up against the counter, he touches his lips where he can still feel the tingle from Negan's stubble. He was relieved on so many levels, everything seemed to be happening so fast all of the sudden, but not in a bad way. The way it always should have always been. He couldn't wait for tonight, he wanted Negan to make love to him. 

Before Rick headed upstairs to grab a shower, he wanted let his mom know he was going upstairs for the evening and that he would see her in the morning. 

"Don't forget your brother will be here around ten tomorrow morning." She reminded him. 

"Yeah I remember." He answered, suddenly wondering what she had told everyone. "Hey mom? Did you tell anyone else, like Lori and Shane's family that I was bringing Negan?"

She shook her head, "No dear, thought the less attention I draw to you the better. And to be honest, I could give a rats ass what anyone else thinks." She said a matter of factly like she didn't just curse. 

He couldn't help but laugh, he wasn't used to his mom being like this but he certainly wasn't complaining. 

Walking up upstairs toward the shower, he thought about how his brother would be here tomorrow and then the party would be in the evening. He would be seeing Lori and Shane, and everyone would know about his new life. He grinned, everything really was falling into place.

* * *

Richard shut the engine bonnet, they'd spent the better part of an hour fawning over the Bel Air. "She really is a beautiful car Mr. Grimes." Negan saidnrunning his hand along the door frame. 

"Call me Richard, son." He said from the corner of the garage. He opened a mini fridge and grabbed two cans. He threw an ice cold beer to Negan and cracked his own. Negan downed half his beer in one chug, he wasn't used to September being so warm. 

"Thanks for introducing me to 'er. Glad we found some shit to bond over, you know, common ground and all that." He smirked looking at his can. "Rick was terrified with the idea of you and I meeting, but look at us. Two peas in a god damn pod." He raised his can as if he was clinking it against another, and downed the rest of it. 

Richard put his beer down and sat on a stool, "I dunno how much Rick has told you about me but I understand why he may have felt that way." He looked disappointed in himself Negan noted. Richard lifted his head and locked eyes with him. 

"I'm sure you're smart enough to understand that if you do anything to hurt my boy, it's me you'll have to deal with." Richard said, winking. But Negan grinned, Rick's dad really did give a shit, and that, well that just tickled his balls.

Negan stood a little taller, "I love your son. More than anything in this fucking world. I don't understand why he chose an asshole like me, but he's everything. And I don't give up easily." He said, tossing the can into the trash. "I'm going to marry Rick one day." He said without hesitation. 

Richard glared at him and blinked a few times. "Glad to hear it, son." He threw his own can in the trash. Negan nodded and followed Richard into the house feeling like maybe he could be apart of this family, Rick was his family now.

* * *

After Rick showered, he found himself looking through all of his old memories in his room. He looked fondly at the photos of Shane, Lori and him, the summers they spent as kids. All the soccer medals on the wall that his mom never got rid of. His old guitar in the corner that he played in a talent show when he was a freshman. It was surreal bringing Negan back here, joining a piece of his new life with the old one. 

He laid down in his bed, looking through old photos. He barely recognized himself compared to who he is now, he wishes he could go back to that Rick and tell him it was all going to work out. 

Soon, Rick was asleep. He couldn't help but succumb to the comfort of his old bed. 

Negan said goodnight to Rick's parents and made his way upstairs to find Rick. The bedroom door was open a crack and he could see Rick sound asleep. He opened the door carefully, avoiding any creaking that may wake up sleeping beauty. He sat down beside Rick, and pushed his still damp hair back out of his face. There was little he loved more than his curly hair and blue eyes. Negan leaned in and kissed Rick's lips, causing him to stir awake. 

When Rick opened his eyes to see Negan, he smiled softly. "Mmm- do that again." He croaked. 

Negan leaned down and kissed him softly at first. But Rick had other plans and grabbed Negan around his neck and deepened the kiss. "I love you." Rick said breathing heavily against Negan's lips. "Now will you please, _please_ fuck me." Rick pleaded. 

"You're going to have to be quiet Rick. Your parents are right downstairs." Negan got up from the bed and stripped his shirt. Rick nodded enthusiastically.

Negan locked the bedroom door and stood at the edge of the bed. He curled his finger in a come here motion. Rick stripped his shirt and scooted to the edge of the bed, he looked up at Negan, his chin resting on his stiffening cock through his jeans. "Tell me what you want." He said with blue angel eyes. He really would do anything for Negan. 

Negan looked down at Rick with half lidded eyes, pupils blown wide with lust. This was his favourite way to have him, Rick's need only drove his need ten fold. 

He knew he had to take it slow. Sure Rick had practised but he knew from experience it wasn't really the same as having the real thing. And not to toot his own horn but his length and girth was probably more than Rick had in any toy. 

"Suck me." Negan whispered, moving the damp curls out of Rick's face. 

Rick ran his hands down Negans bare chest before making quick work of his belt. He kissed and licked around his navel trailing kisses down, pulling his pants off. He put his mouth over the fabric covering the hard length and looked back up at Negan. 

Negan bit his bottom lip, "You gonna help me with those?" He asked, and Rick proceeded to bite the waistband of his boxers and pull them down, springing his heavy cock free. 

Rick felt up Negan's thighs, and licked his cock from root to tip. He tongued the slit which caused one of Negan's knees to buckle. Rick looked up at him and giggled. "Not used to having to be fucking quiet with you, Rick." Negan shrugged. 

Rick took Negan down almost to the base in one swift movement.  
He gagged and quickly withdrew, coughing and sputtering. Negan grabbed his cock by the base with a fist, taking up the last few inches for Rick. "Try it now, baby." He said, eager to get Rick's mouth back on him. 

Rick leaned forward and easily took the exposed length. "Practise makes perfect." Negan threw his head back, biting into his lip. He still couldn't watch Rick work his cock for long, the sensation alone was going to send him over the edge faster than he wanted to.

He laced his fingers through Rick's hair and stopped him. Rick looked up at Negan, tears in the corners of his eyes from the stretch. _"Fuck"_ he thought, he could explode right then. "Lay on your back." He ordered Rick. 

Rick quickly obliged, and Negan went to work on his jeans. He needed to see him, all of him right now. He pulled off Rick's Jean's and boxers, releasing his own stiff length, and moved to straddle his hips. He bent down to take Rick's mouth in his and began kissing and licking at his neck, driving him wild. "I love you," Negan whispered. "And I'm going to make you feel so fucking good." He shifted down and took Rick's thick cock in his mouth, eliciting a stuttered gasp from the man below him.

Rick reached behind the pillows and grabbed the bottle of lube he had stored there earlier, waiting for Negan to come in; he figured it would come in handy. He tossed it down onto the bed, and Negan hummed, pulling off Rick's cock with an audible pop that made Rick laugh. 

Negan opened the cap and coated his fingers. He climbed carefully up Rick's torso, he leaned down to take a pink nipple in his teeth. Before Rick could yelp from the sudden pain, Negan was licking and gently sucking, a sharp contrast of pleasure. 

Rick grabbed the hair on the back of Negan's head to anchor himself to something. His body was shaking with excitement and fear, his cock still hard and now pressing between their stomachs. 

Negan began pressing his fingers against Rick's entrance, causing him to gasp. Rick grabbed Negan and kissed him hard, wanting and needing everything from him. "_…more. Please._" He moans softly, relishing the burn of the stretch.

He doesn't have to be told twice, and Negan sits back straddling just below Rick's cock. He bends to take him in his mouth again and adds two more fingers to Rick's tight heat. 

"Holy _fuck,_" Rick arched his back, pleasure and pain clouding his vision. At this point he just wants Negan inside of him, he needs him so bad. Rick looks down at Negan and tears well up in his eyes. This is what hes always wanted, and he knew that Negan was the perfect man to take him. His patience, and understanding had been more compassion than he'd every received, by anyone.

Combing his fingers through his lover's dark hair, Rick was ebbing too close to the edge, the warmth of Negan's mouth was more than he could handle in this moment let alone the steady pace of his fingers brushing close enough to his sweet spot that he was feeling sparks of pleasure. "Negan, it- it's too much, please, _please_ fuck me." He says practically whining. 

Looking up at Rick's request, Negan hadn't expected to see tears in his eyes. "Rick, do you want to stop?" He said, his brows furrowed with concern, he withdrew his fingers from Rick. 

"No, no, I'm fine, just…emotional." Rick said smiling up at Negan, his pupils still blown wide with lust. Rick pulled Negan down to kiss him, showing him just how hungry he was, he could taste himself on Negans tongue. 

Pulling back, Negan grabbed the bottle of lube squirted a liberal amount onto his palm. "Are you sure you're ready Rick? You can still back out, anytime. Even if we're right in the fuckin' middle of it, okay?" Negan said stroking his cock, getting it as wet as he could to ease Rick onto him. 

Smiling to his eyes, Rick took Negan's jaw in his hand. "Yeah, yeah I'm ready. Been ready. More than ready. You need any other form of permission?" He asks sarcastically. 

Rolling his eyes playfully, he leaned down to kiss Rick one more time, before guiding his cock into the glistening pink opening. An inch at a time, he keeps his eyes on Rick's face, stopping when his brows furrow just a little too close together. 

He loves the stretch, he imagined it would feel amazing but Rick can't believe how mind blowing it really is. No wonder Negan had no problem volunteering to bottom. Rick bites his lip to stifle the moans so desperate to escape, he cant help but pant in ecstasy. 

Negan fully seats himself inside Rick and squeezes his eyes shut. Rick's tight heat wrapping around his cock was almost too much, he was sure he would blow his load if Rick moved a muscle. 

After a few moments he looked down at Rick, making sure he was still okay to continue. He wasn't prepared for how fucking sexy Rick looks, taken completely apart beneath him. And they hadn't even started. His skin was flushed from head to toe, his eyes half lidded, and his lips parted waiting for any attention Negan would give them. Most of all Rick's eyes, sparkled like diamonds in contrast to the teary red lids. 

_"…move."_ Rick gasped up at the sight of Negan above him. The sweat was gleaming off his shoulders in the orange light of the desk lamp and he didn't recall ever seeing something, someone so beautiful. 

Starting a slow pace, Negan withdrew almost completely before sliding back into him. He bent down so his chest was flush with Rick's and kissed every inch of skin he could reach, alternating between soft kisses and eager licks. 

Rick's cock was trapped between their stomachs, getting milked through every thrust. Rick's vision was going white and he knew he couldn't hold on anymore. "Negan…I- I cant…" Rick whispered into Negan's ear, as he held around his neck for what seemed like dear life. 

"Let it go, baby." Negan purred back to Rick's ear as he picked up the pace, fucking into Rick's prostate with reckless abandon, wanting to finish at the same time as his blue eyed angel below him. 

Biting into the closest thing near him, Rick latched onto Negan's shoulder, coming undone, releasing strings of cum between them. 

Negan squeezed his eyes shut, an extra surge of pleasure running through him from Rick trembling beneath him and that too hard bite, he fucked into Rick through his orgasm, milking every last drop of his own release. 

He stayed laying on top of Rick until he caught his breath and floated back down to earth. He quickly let go of him when he realized that his had one hand tangled tight in his hair and the other pressing bruises into his hip. 

Rick laid still with his eyes closed, not ever wanting this moment to end but also incredibly happy that they get to do that again, and again and that they really were together and in love.

When he opened his eyes, the first thing Rick saw was Negan's hazel ones searching his face for any kind of distress. Rick smiled and scooted close to his hazel eyed man, tucking his head underneath his chin, ignoring the mess on both of their stomachs. 

"That was…honestly amazing." Rick laughed, as he traces small patterns on Negan's chest. 

"Couldn't agree more, no fucking words for whatever that was." Negan threaded his fingers through Rick's sweat damp curls. "I love you so much, Rick. I just can't wait for the rest of…everything. Ya know?" He whispered. 

Rick smiled into Negan's chest, "I love you too, and you know, I was thinking the same damn thing." He drawled. 

Hearing his parents shut their bedroom door down the hall, Rick sat up on an elbow. "I think I could use another shower, I hope you'll join me?" He asked, tracing Negan's cupid's bow. 

"Wouldn't miss something like that Grimes." Negan smirked. "Then we're sneaking out to smoke a few joints." He stretched his arms above his head and stared while Rick got dressed. He didn't know happiness like this existed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We only have one more chapter left! I really liked the journey they've been on as two dumb asses figuring shit out.
> 
> Please leave a comment and kudos xo


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